Room For 2?

The new kitties are running riot.....that, according to The Two Legs, is what kitties do.

I ran riot when I was kittie???? 

The kitties love Felix Kitten Foodm - do I get paid for promotion here?

Marie also tries to eat the box.....and she's the clever one????

'Boggle Eye' Purdy wants to fit in too...

I likes having kitties here....they make me look sensibleimuss!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS (Wriggly Kitty) and I as spokens,,,

My Empire Is Growingimuss!!

As I sit here observing my Centurions and minions I just knows that the Universe is safeimuss cause I is in it.

Centurion Stealth Bomber aka Stealthy is even sharing my blankimuss to makes sure I is protected

Of course Bumble aka The Bumble aka Bumbleenie sleeps on HER chair...even I doesn't invade HER chair unless she says I canimuss...

Bat Ears Gracie Mae has settled in well and is subservient to me as is right and proper. The Little Two Legs has made it clear Gracie mae is staying so it's a good job she's subservient to me!!!

And Tabatha who was rescued by The Man Two Legs from the strippers bar has had kitties!!!

There is three black and whites and two greys......UMPH! No Gingers????? Disgraceful......

The Maximus Empire is growingimuss again!!! - as is only right and proper for The Emporer of all HE surveys and pretty much everything else as well....

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS and I 'as spokens....

The Man Two Legs was sent to a strippers pub to rescue two cats as the Lady Two Legs didn't want to go....what is stripper?

The Man Two Legs seemed very keenimuss to go - in fact he seemed to be there far longer than he needed to be. I not knows why......

More cats in my house????.....Well there used to be more than there is nowimuss.....DJ gone, Scampi gone....I suppose I can be accomodating....besides....I needs more Centurions around me to do my bidding!

This is Tabatha.....she is well preggers!...she is about to 'pop' says Lady Two Legs...Pop?...She will go 'POP!'??....I thought she was having kittens....

This is Gracie Mae according to the Two Legs...I would call her Bat Ears myself....She is sweetimuss and subservient to The Great Maximus so I likes her.

The Maximus household is growing againimuss and I likes it!!!

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS and I has spokens

Newby Finds Fat Man's Lappimus

Newby is eating my food!!!!

I don't minds too muchimuss as he is already showing signs that he knows I is THE BOSS.

Fat Man Two Legs lay on the kitchen floor stroking Newby as he ate his food.

Then Newby sat in his lap!!!

OI!!! Newby!!! They is my laps....you must ask me before you sit in them!!!!

Still....Fat Man Two legs has comfy lap and Newby hasn't had a lap for a loooong time.

Newby will shortly be appointed my Centurion Of The Laps....

....once he remembers to ask me firstimuss!!!!

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS and I 'as spokens!!!

Maximus Piggimus

The Two Legs went to somewhere called East Sussex for a couple of days leaving the Little Two Legs in charge of feeding....and The Little Two Legs boyfriend who I likes as he is called Max which is the bestest name!

When The Two Legs got home they said they had found a Maximus Piggimus.....

I think I'm offended.....Maximus Piggimus?

I will think about this a bittimus.....

mmmmmmm.....Maximus Piggimus.....

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS and I is not sure if I is offended or not...

NEWBY!!!!

This is Newby.....

Newby just walked in from nowhere....nowhere is somewhere beyond the Maximus Spittimus Empire...which means Newby is from beyond The Universe as The Universe clearly only existsimuss cause I is in it!!!

Newby is a bit of a flea bagimuss right now....until he trusts the Two legs enough to de-flea him....he scratchimuss all the time!!!!

But Newby is coolimuss....he sniffings with me and The Bumbles....Stealthy just hisses and growls at him - but after Nu-Nu I forgives Stealthy taking time to get used to my new Centurion...

I thinks Newby is going to fit right in as he is starting to trust The Two Legs - although once he trusts them enough they'll get his bits removed so he might wish he hadn't trusted them so muchimuss!!! ..;-)

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS and I as spokens

Right...I Is Really Backimuss

The Two Legs has had lots of stuff goings on so my postimusses have been a bit rare.

Now The Two Legs is back on track I can plostimuss more oftenimuss.

My Centurions have waited patiently for me as they should so I is a happy kittimuss again.

I has been ruling my empire with a iron...er....ginger paw and all is well in the Maximus Spittimus (Wriggly Kitty) world.

Thdere is a 'newby' coming through the cat flap but he is starting to realise that when he comes through the cat flap he is entering my worldimuss!!!

The Stealth Bomber aka 'Stealthy' has finally recovered from the temporary presence of Noushka aka Naughty Nu Nu - who has setled in well I am told in her 'one cat household....Quite how Nu Nu could expect this mad house to be a one cat household is beyond even me!!!!

Bye bye Nu Nu and enjoy YOUR domain....you wanteds to invade my domain...you silliy silly girl...but you are good lookings!!!

The Bumbles...aka Bumble....aka Bumbleeeny is still Bumble and hasn't changed even a teeny bitimuss. She is and will always be...The Bumbles!!!

So....I is really back bloggingimuss and I will visit your pussy cat blogs soon and honour you with my presence...

I know I has been awayimuss far too muchimuss but I has had to sort out The Two Legs and gets them back on trackimuss.

Now they is I is.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS (WRIGGLY KITTY) AND I HAS SPOKENS....

Absentimuss

I apologises...I as been busy sniffings. Sniffings has made me absent from the blogimuss world....

There is a new stray sneaking into my cat flapimuss and I is sniffings for where he is goings.

The Two Legs think he is another Stealth Bomber and will come and live here.

That depends! If he is worthy of being a Maximus Centurion he can come and live here.

If not I will....I will....I will....er

I will set The Bumbles on him!!!!

Noushka Nu Nu

We loved Nu Nu. We really really didimuss!!!

Noushka had never been with other cats. The Little Two Legs brought her home so she would have a safe home...a safe place with me and Bumble and Stealthy.

She didn't want a safe home with me and Bumble and Stealthy.

She wanted it all. On her own.

The Two Legs have spent 24 years adopting and caring for cats. Never in 24 years have they failed any cat.

Now they is saddimus. They feel they have failed.

They hasn't.

Nu Nu was Nu Nu.

She had to go.

She made Stealthy's life a misery. Stealthy wasn't adopted by the Two Legs...He chose them.

It was Stealthy or Nu Nu.

He was going to go.....he was going to be chased away.....

It wasn't Nu Nu's fault...it was just Nu Nu....it was the way she was..the way she is....

Nu Nu had to go or Stealthy would have gone.

I couldn't lose my Stealth Bomber.....

Sorry Nu Nu.....

You need a one cat house......and this isn't....

This is the Maximus house.....and now....it still is.....

Bye bye Nu Nu.....you will have your own house now.....

The Two Legs will miss you....

Me n Bumble n Stealthy won't!!!!

Noushka The Complete Bitchimuss Catimuss

Man Two Legs likes Noushka...aka...Nu-Nu,which merely confirms that Man Two Legs is insane,

Nu-Nu is not all there....Nu-Nu is twopence short of a shilling...she is a sandwich short of a picnic....

Nu-Nu is just weird!...She follows me abouts like I is a God!!!....er....Nu-Nu is clearly not as daft as she looks...

Noushka aka Nu-Nu spent many days sussing out the cat flap......Yes Nu-Nu...you push it with your headimuss...silly girl...

I is teachings her to use the cat flap....I is slightly worried that if I has to teach Nu-Nu she is clearly as daftinuss as I thinks she is!!!!

I thinks I might get to like Nu-Nu...she is so daftimuss she is like a female version of meimuss!!!

The home of Maximus Wriggly Kitty Spittimus is currently in fluximuss.....

I 'as spokens.

I is Maximus Wriggly Kitty Spittimus....

...and I is THE WORD!

.

A Happy Maximus New Year!!!

I as not posted for a bit cause I as been sniffings........

A new cat is here. She is called Noushka. She is not a cat, she is a cow. I as batted her ears. I will not have any pics of Nu-Nu, as the Two Legs call her, until she learns to behave.

Chrissimuss was cool! I got to eat lots of Turkey and sausage meat and ham and pork and anything elses that the Two legs gave me.....except brussel sprouts...they is 'orribleimuss!!!

I got presentimusses!!! I got Catnip mouses and toys to tear to bits!!!! Bumble and Stealth Bomber got presentimusses too cause they are loyal to Maximus...

Nu-Nu got a big cage to live in cause she won't behave...she will learn that this is Maximus land and she must behave!!!!

(Actually Noushka was rescued by daughter Jacqui. She's 18 months old and has had no socialisation with either cats or people - as my scars would show - we are trying to integrate her into our home. If we fail she will be rehomed to a 'one cat' household. I'll let you know how it goes. A gorgeous looking completely neurotic Torty nicknamed 'Psycho Kitty by me)....4D aka Man Two Legs aka Aide de Camp to Maximus Spittimus...

Be quiet Two Legs...this is my blog!!!

I had to sleeps off all the Turkey and sausage meat and ham an pork on my blanky....



The Bumbles let me sleeps with her on her chair again...Nobody but Maximus Spittimus gets to sleeps on The Bumbles chair!!!

 I needed more sleeps with Stealthy too as I had eaten so much Turkey and stuffing and I was stuffings!!!!

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS

.....and I wishes my Centurion kitties and rabbits and doggies a Happy New Year with lots of mouses to chase and lots of trees to climb and lots of nice places to go sniffings....

I HAS SPOKENS!

Wriggleimuss Me!!!

I is now known as Wriggly Kitty.....Maximus Wriggly Kitty Spittimus.

I is prepared to allow this addition to the name of your most magnificent Maximus as I admit I wriggles a lot.

I do not sound like a seagull though! Disgraceimuss!!! Man Two legs says I sound like a seagull from 'Finding Nemo' when I is fed.

I DO NOT say 'Mine! Mine! Mine!'......I says 'Gets off it is The Magnificent Maximus's food!'....if Two Legs think it sounds like 'Mine! Mine!' then he is more idiotimuss than even I thought!

...after eatings I settles down for a snooze with The Bumbles who lets me use her chair cause she loves Maximus!!!!

The Stealth Bomber stretches out in the hallway as he can't fit on Bumble's chair - and Bumble would bop him if he tried!

I AM THE MAGNIFICENT MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS and I is speakings again.....

...idiotimuss Two Legs....keeping me silentimuss......

Piccimusses Followimuss

Rightimuss!!!

I is back and idiotimuss Two Legs is taking piccimusses of me - and The Bumble and Stealth Bomber.

The next post will be me back to normality......

I as much to say!!!!!

Two Legs Is An Idiotimuss!!!!

Two Legs thought the computer tower was brokened....it wasn't

Two Legs got another computer tower and installed it.

Two Legs had all his passwords on old tower and couldn't remember them.

Maximus couldn't blog because Two Legs is an IDIOTIMUSS!!!!!!!

Now Two Legs has plugged in old tower and got passwords back Maximus can blog again.

Now he is plugging new tower back inimuss.

"Er...Two Legs?"

"Yes Maximus?"

"Have you wrtten downimuss all those passwords?"

"Oh!...Oh yeah!...Good idea Maximus!"

"................................IDIOTIIMUSS..................."

I Is Here!!! So Two Legs CAN find The Timeimuss???

Two Legs?.....phtttt!!!

He is lazimuss....

I IS HERE. HE doesn't even knows I is....Little Two Legs has come home from Madagascar and she hugs me and kisses me. SHE knows I is HERE and she has been in Madagascar!!!!

We is waiting to be fed and man Two legs is getting all huffimuss...."We is due at the airport" he says....AND???

He wants to go to airport (what is airport????) before he feeds us????

SACRILEGE!!!!!!!!!

I will be takings controlimuss of this house again. I has been too softimuss. I has let Two Legs get untrained.

I has made mistake. I has been too kindimuss. Maximus will regain total controlimuss.

Two Legs is warnedimuss!!!!

The Bumbles has told me.....The Two Legs is good and will feedimuss all of us but WE must remind them WE is in charge.

They will be reminded.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMU8S and I has spokens.

My Centurion Guards

The Stealth Bomber is not known as The Stealth Bomber for nothings....

He catch Mousey and brings it back for me to play with. It is my very own pet mousey!!!

He carries it gently along the top of the fence so I can admire my Chief Centurians grace and loyalty to the Emporer Maximus Spittimus.

Then he puts my new mousey down so I cans play with it....BUT!!! Man Two Legs rescues Mousey and frees it!!!! MY MOUSEY!!!! Brought to his Emporer by Stealthey!!! I chases it around and around before Man Two Legs can catch it so I does have some funnimuss.

Bumble (aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeny) explains to me that Two Legs have always rescued mouseys and frogses and anything that she used to bring home. They do??? Two Legs is very weirdimuss!!!

My wise and venerable Scampi sets up an observation post to tell me if my mousey comes back to play with me again....although strangely, Scampi seems to think it unlikely. Unlikely? Doesn't my mousey understand how honoured he would be to let The Emporer Maximus Spittimus play with him. I would only nibble his head a little bit!!!

All this cahsing mousey and trying to understand silly Two Legs has made me tiredimuss. I sleeps now.

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, EMPORER OF YOU ALL AND I HAS SPOKENS.

They Is Back

Now I knows I hads Scampi (The Venerable and Wise), Bumble (aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeny) and, of course, Stealthy (aka The Stealth Bomber) for company but.....

BUT

Otherwise I was aloneimuss!!!!

I was left aloneimuss!!!!!

They shall pay the price.

I shall bite toes and scratch delicate bits when they is asleepimuss.

The wrath of Maximus Spittimus will know no bounds.

Well.....

...I will waitimuss until the Little Two Legs is back from Madagascarimuss.

Then they will not expect it.

I is going to have fun.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is waiting...I is biding my timeimuss.

I will be UNLEASHED!!!!!

I IS WILDIMUSS!!!! 

I WILL NEVER BE LEFT ALONEIMUSS AGAIN!!!!

er.....can I have some foodimuss?....

Aloneinmuss!!!!

Little Two Legs is in somewhere called Madagascar....Man Two Legs is off to somewhere called Sunderland..... Lady Two Legs is working.....

They is leaving me alone!!!!!

ME!!!!!

The Emporer Maximus Spittimus!!!!!....The Emporer Wriggly Kitty!!!!

ALONE!!!!!

ALONEIMUSS!!!!!!

Disgraceful behaviour....

I may never forgiveimuss them.

Unless I gets special treats when they is not in Madagascar or Sunderland or workings.

Why is Two Legs so nutsimuss?????

How can they leave ME??????

Mad as hatters all of them....

MAD!!!!

Seedimuss

Every time I comes into the house I is grabbed!!!!!

"He is full of seeds!" says Two Legs.

'Seeds' is, as far I understandimuss, little round sticky things in my furrimuss.

I is caught and held and Two Legs picks at me.

They really has no ideaimuss has they?

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS  and I is their...and everyone's Emporer!!!!

You do not picks up MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and removes seeds from HIS coat unless HE wants seeds removed from HIS coat!!!!!!

er...what are seedimusses?

No I Don't Believe In Miracles.....But I Almost Did....

As the Aide de Camp to Maximus Spittimus, I can only apoligise for the laxadasical posting....There has been much occupying me apart from The Emporer Maximus Spittimus....

I suspect he is not entirely happy with this temporary condition....I sense my toes may suffer the consequences of HIS indignation.

My wife and I (bloody hell...I sound like the Queen...'My husband and I'...) are in a British Charity called 'Cats Protection '.......We look after stray cats that are homeless and unwanted. We have a 'Cat Palace' at the bottom of the garden. It is heated and, frankly, if the wifey ever has the sense to throw me out I will move in there. I may decline to eat cat food but I will be warm and dry......;-)

Two 'new arrivals' were...and are...mother and son.

The female was pregnant. We had no idea she was pregnant. She certainly didn't look pregnant and she didn't eat like she was pregnant. We aren't psychic. She was pregnant and we didn't know.

Princess - as we have since called her - gave birth over night.

In the morning we found 2 still born kittens and an extremely distressed kitten no more than 5 or 6 hours old who she was clearly rejecting.

'Miracle' was promptly removed from the 'scene' and spent the night wrapped in a tea towel with disposable rubber gloves filled with warm water and stuffed down the wifey's bra.

Cinicat...a milk substitute...was fed to him via a small syringe.

Miracle survived the night via the wifey denying herself sleep and feeding him every hour on the hour.

The following day he was transferred to a lactating Queen with three 10 day old kittens at a Veterinary surgery in London.

After convincing two of her kittens to 'pee' on a bit of cotton wool and then wiping Miracle with said pee soaked cotton wool, the lactating female immediately washed him and drew him in to suckle.

Miracle suckled.

There was a chance. A slim chance but the 'adoptive' mother was 'up for it'.

When a rejected kitten is rejected in 99% of cases it will die. Even if it's had the joy of being in my wife's bra....

'Miracle' survived another night. The 'adoptive' mother was supurb!!! She drew Miracle in and he was hers.

His strength wasn't enough. He couldn't suckle enough.

Miracle died at 7:02 p.m. on 15th June 2011.

We tried so hard Miracle....Honest we did.....

After dropping off 'Miracle' in London the wifey went to sleep.....

That evening we went to the 'Cat Palace' to feed the strays......We opened Princesse's pen and.....

...another kitten.....she'd given birth over 8 hours after 'Miracle'!!!...and....she hadn't rejected this baby.

You didn't make it 'Miracle'.....I'm so so sorry baby...we tried so hard.....

The adoptive Queen was magnificent!...She took you as her own but it wasn't enough.....

For what it's worth...if your baby sister makes it she will be called 'Miracle' too.....

...She is you.

Sleep tight Miracle.

Our tears are warm for you....and our joy if your baby sister makes it will be tears of joy.....

Pleae let her make it......PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

Four Dinners
Aide de Camp
Maximus Spittimus