Friday 15 July 2011

My Centurion Guards

The Stealth Bomber is not known as The Stealth Bomber for nothings....
He catch Mousey and brings it back for me to play with. It is my very own pet mousey!!!
He carries it gently along the top of the fence so I can admire my Chief Centurians grace and loyalty to the Emporer Maximus Spittimus.
Then he puts my new mousey down so I cans play with it....BUT!!! Man Two Legs rescues Mousey and frees it!!!! MY MOUSEY!!!! Brought to his Emporer by Stealthey!!! I chases it around and around before Man Two Legs can catch it so I does have some funnimuss.
Bumble (aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeny) explains to me that Two Legs have always rescued mouseys and frogses and anything that she used to bring home. They do??? Two Legs is very weirdimuss!!!
My wise and venerable Scampi sets up an observation post to tell me if my mousey comes back to play with me again....although strangely, Scampi seems to think it unlikely. Unlikely? Doesn't my mousey understand how honoured he would be to let The Emporer Maximus Spittimus play with him. I would only nibble his head a little bit!!!
All this cahsing mousey and trying to understand silly Two Legs has made me tiredimuss. I sleeps now.

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, EMPORER OF YOU ALL AND I HAS SPOKENS.

Wednesday 13 July 2011

They Is Back

Now I knows I hads Scampi (The Venerable and Wise), Bumble (aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeny) and, of course, Stealthy (aka The Stealth Bomber) for company but.....

BUT

Otherwise I was aloneimuss!!!!

I was left aloneimuss!!!!!

They shall pay the price.

I shall bite toes and scratch delicate bits when they is asleepimuss.

The wrath of Maximus Spittimus will know no bounds.

Well.....

...I will waitimuss until the Little Two Legs is back from Madagascarimuss.

Then they will not expect it.

I is going to have fun.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is waiting...I is biding my timeimuss.

I will be UNLEASHED!!!!!

I IS WILDIMUSS!!!! 

I WILL NEVER BE LEFT ALONEIMUSS AGAIN!!!!

er.....can I have some foodimuss?....

Thursday 7 July 2011

Aloneinmuss!!!!

Little Two Legs is in somewhere called Madagascar....Man Two Legs is off to somewhere called Sunderland..... Lady Two Legs is working.....

They is leaving me alone!!!!!

ME!!!!!

The Emporer Maximus Spittimus!!!!!....The Emporer Wriggly Kitty!!!!

ALONE!!!!!

ALONEIMUSS!!!!!!

Disgraceful behaviour....

I may never forgiveimuss them.

Unless I gets special treats when they is not in Madagascar or Sunderland or workings.

Why is Two Legs so nutsimuss?????

How can they leave ME??????

Mad as hatters all of them....

MAD!!!!

Monday 4 July 2011

Seedimuss

Every time I comes into the house I is grabbed!!!!!

"He is full of seeds!" says Two Legs.

'Seeds' is, as far I understandimuss, little round sticky things in my furrimuss.

I is caught and held and Two Legs picks at me.

They really has no ideaimuss has they?

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS  and I is their...and everyone's Emporer!!!!

You do not picks up MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and removes seeds from HIS coat unless HE wants seeds removed from HIS coat!!!!!!

er...what are seedimusses?