Saturday, 9 May 2015

Feed Me!

Good griefimuss! I gets fed in the morning and then man Two Legs goes out and I don't get feds until the evening! This is ridiculous!

Lady Two Legs is in hospital so he is there all day! She is fine!!! He could come home and feed me! 6 or 7 times would be enough! it isn't an unreasonable request!!

How can a grown cat survive on only two feedings a day???

I know there is biscuits but biscuits aren't what my belly needs!!!

I is being treated with extreme cruelty!!

Call animal welfare nowimuss!!

I is starvings!!!....oh....don't call them yet...he is backimuss..... thems tomorrow....don't tell hims I said too.....

I is a starvings Emporer Maximus Spittimus and my belly is rumblings!!!

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Always There To Remind You

As it has been a long timeimuss since I was allowed to post - The Man Two Legs will pay all in good time! - I thoughts I should remind you of my loyal Centurions.

Of course, The Bumbles aka Bumbleeny has long gone to her Centurion paradise but everybody else is still here doing my bidding.....except for Gracie Mae The Fruit Bat.

Gracie Mae The Fruit Bat went wanderings too far and there was a car going too fastimuss and...well...Fruity didn't come home until Man Two Legs found her under a bush.

I was so very sadimuss...I still is...

But! Stealthy The Stealth Bomber is still Head Centurion! He is oldimuss now but he still chases his tale and keeps all other Centurions in order!...well, he does when he isn't chasing his tail anyways...

Billy No Mates is lining himself up to be Head Centurion one day - if I let him! He is handsome but he keeps going under cars and coming out like a blotchy Dalmation. He is a bit dumb really but I likes him.
Marie Bug and Purrrdy were bornimuss in my house and they has stayed cause I lets them. I needs a harem doesn't I???

Marie Bug is called 'Bug' cause she catches flies and eats them - urrrgh! She is crazy!!
 Purrrdy is called Purrrdy cause she purrrrrrrrs really loud. It keeps me awake! But I do like her lotsimuss.
Then and most importantly there is MEEEEEEE! Your Emporer Maximus Spittimus.
 ......bye bye Fruit Bat....I misses you so has the best place in Centurion paradise.
...the bestest place....


Monday, 23 March 2015


That is me. That title thingimuss. I is hissing at Two Legs cause he hasn't let me postimuss for ever!!!!

He is back on Blogger nowimuss ( so now he thinks 'oh! I'll let Maximus Spittimus blog again!

I'd scratch his eyes out but then he wouldn't be able to see the cat food and feedimuss me.

Don't go near his blogimuss!

Just ignore the selfish gittimuss!!!

I'll bite his toes when he is alseepimuss.

I is Maximus Spittimuss and I as finally spokens again!!!!