Wednesday 29 December 2010

A HAPPY MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS NEW YEAR!!!


Two Legs has new camera for his birthday so there will be lots of new up to date pics of me.

There will also be lots of new up to date pics of Bumble, Scampi and Stealthy.....but

...more importantly...there will be lots of up to date pics of me. Maximus Spittimus. Emporer of all I survey and any bits that I may have missed through the necessity of sleeping and eating and washing.

I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, wish all of MY CENTURIONS a HAPPY NEW YEAR  as you bask in MY Greatness.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

Sunday 19 December 2010

White Stuff Up My Nose!!!...I Is Maximus Trekimus



It has been snowings. I has been sniffings the snow.

I is stayings in by the warm fire.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I is sensibles!!!!

Happy Christmuss to ALL my valued Centurions!!!!!


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A note from Four Dinners, Aide de Camp, Maximus Spittimus :


Maximus watched virtually the entire movie of Star Trek whatever it was....3?...4? - the one with the Whales.

He was fascinated by the Whale Song and sat on the arm of the sofa staring at the TV every time the Whale Song was played.



The Stealth Bomber wandered in and sat in the middle of the floor staring at the TV every time the Whale Song was played.

The Bumble appeared...then old Scampi


All four watched Captain Kirk and Mr Spock get it on with the Whales and responded with 'chirrups' every time the Whale Song was heard.

Watching this was quite extraordinary.

Then again....

Maximus Spittimus is quite extraordinary...he told me so.

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A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of the important life forms on our planet. Mainly cats of course but the rest of you are quite important too......

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS

Monday 13 December 2010

I IS THE ONE!!!!

Now...let's be serious here. I IS THE ONE. I is Maximus Spittimus. The Emperor of everything.

This is not a matter for debate. This is the way it is - and you are forever grateful for The Emperor Maximus Spittimus endowing life, the universe and everything upon you.

The Bumbles is Bumble...aka The Bumbles...aka Bumbeliney...

I IS THE BOSS.

I IS IN CHARGE.

YOU...MY CENTURIONS....ANSWER TO ME.

I has allowedimuss Stealthy and Bumble to speakimuss on my blog but....BUT....BUT

Pleasimuss to not misunderstandimuss.

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND I IS IN CHARGIMUSS.

Your continued and quite sensible worship of myself is appreciated....imuss....

Wednesday 8 December 2010

THE BUMBLES SPEAKS!!!!!

Now.

Let's get this straight.

I am Bumble.

I am Queen Bee around here.

This house, this universe, this world IS MINE....if I want it...I don't...I am merely ensuring the ONE who should have it gets it.

Maximus Spittimus will rule one day - it is clearly his destiny - but for now.....

I IS BUMBLE.

I IS THE RULER.
Got it?

That is not to say that all of you who admire and rightly adore Maximus should suddenly admire Bumble more.

Maximus Spittimus IS THE EMPORER OF THE UNIVERSE........he just needs me to guide him a bit....er...a lot....

Well...alright...the lights are on and nobody is home but there you go.....is that so different to Obama or Cameron or Putin?......Of course it isn't!!!!

Maximus is young and inexperienced in the ways of the universe....I WILL PROTECT HIM AND TEACH HIM!!

Maximus Spittimus will reach his destiny and anyone who stands in the way of HIS destiny will deal with ME!

I am BUMBLE.....I am The Bumbles.....

I am the Protector and Defender of Maximus Spittimus.

The World will end or the World will accept Maximus Spittimus as it's saviour.....

.....am I supposed to say you dictated this Maximus?

....No?......oh dear......er.....um.....

That was a joke...

I is Junior Two Legs Bestist Baby and I is in charge until I decide Maximus is ready!!!

(I is in charge for a loooooong time).....;-)

I is BUMBLE and YOU don't mess with me....You really don't.

...ps....I is beautiful and gentle really....but I is female.....

Friday 3 December 2010

The Maximus Spittimus, aka Wriggly Kitty's, Army

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS. I is Emperor and Lord of ALL I SURVEY - and any bits that I don't survey....just cause I am not surveying them doesn't mean they aren't MINE!

I has 'nickname' according to Two Legs. I is 'Wriggly Kitty'.

Wriggly Kitty????

What is Wriggly Kitty????

"We picks you up and you 'wriggles'" says Two Legs....True...I does....but...BUT!


I is Emperor Maximus Spittimus!!!! I can only be picked upimuss when I wants to be picked upimuss!!!

Wriggly Kitty?......Oh dearimuss.....Two Legs have no idea have they????

Two Legs ARE useful...they feed us and ...er....well....do my bidding...and things...

Take Blackie for instance...He was Blackie and now he's Stealth Bomber...which is, I admit, far more appropriateimuss....

He doesn't answer to 'Blackie' anymore...he only answers to 'Stealthy'...so I supposeimuss his nickname is now his nameimuss.....

Bumble is always Bumble....sometimes she is 'The Bumbles'....either way she just IS.

We is BRIGHT EYES!!!! Bumble (The Bumbles) by my sideimuss and Stealth (Stealthy) Bomber formerly known as Blackie guarding the space that belongs to MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS!!!



The 'wise one' that is Scampi is Scampi - but Two Legs call him 'The Creaking Gate'....Scampi is not a gate!...creaking or otherwiseimuss!!!! Gates are not CATS!!! Two Legs are weird......

Scampi stays on the ground and does not climb anymore....he knows the ground is the sensible place to be...

It is so good that I is THE EMPEROR!!! If I wasn't in chargeimuss nobody would know who anybody elseimuss WAS!!!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND I HAS SPOKENS.