Tuesday, 30 November 2010

I AM STEALTH BOMBER...Silent and so very very deadly...

I was a stray cat. I was unwanted and nobody loved me.

Now I am Stealth Bomber. I was Blackie...now I am STEALTH BOMBER.

I is like an exocet missile. I is silent and DEADLY - well I is if you are a mousey or a froggy or a birdy.

I is STEALTH BOMBER and I is guest posting on Maxinus Spittimus.

I loves my Lady Two Legs the best. She feeds me and hugs me and I is HOME.

I is STEALTH BOMBER and Maximus Spittimus has let me spokens.


well....not if you're mousey or froggy or birdie.

When I arrived I was unloved and unwanted...nobody cared about me. Now they do. Now I is STEALTH BOMBER.

I is a Maximus Spittimus Centurion and I will be number one (...er...after The Bumbles obviously...)

Friday, 26 November 2010

The Centurion Army Growsimuss!!!

I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, The Emporer of The Universe and any other bits that are found in the near future that are not considered bits of The Universe, along with any other bits that nobody wants which may, or may not be, bits of The Universe and not to mention places where no sane cat would ever go - China springs eternallymuss to mind - er...where was I?....oh yes....I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, have been advised by my OFFICIAL ADVISOR, Harry Spotter, that I should thank you for joining my Centurion Army.

I does.
I does.

I...er....what is I doing Harry?

Oh yes!...I is thanking you for joining my Centurion Army!

I would be far more effusive but I is sleepings and, as your Emporer Maximus Spittimus I needs my sleepimuss as I have the whole weight of the worldimuss on my shoulders ensuring that you are all happy in my universe - as I know you are cause it is my universe and is the bestest universe everimuss!!!

I as been joined by Senior Centurion Charley, Centurion's Baxter, Pussimuss and Simba along with Centurionesses Elizabeth and Princess, not to mention Rabbit Centurionesses Rosie and Tulip...Rabbits???? Good griefimuss!!! I is even more magnificent than even I realised!!!!....and I have now been joined by Centurion 'Special Advisor' Harry Spotter....

The revolutionimuss is coming!!!!!

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS WILL RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!!.....and why not? I will do a better jobimuss than the Two Legs...;-)

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I 'as spokens.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Centurions R U Update...

Please include a link to your blogimuss when you mail you Centurion pics to Maximus as he has graciously agreed to include a link on your pic.....providing the Two Legs - who is technologically inept can manage it.

Thank you.

Four Dinners
Aide de Camp
Maximus Spittimus

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Maximus Spittmus Centurions R U

I is not looking down on my Centurions...honestimuss I isn't...I is just higher up than them!!!

I adore my Centurions and I rules them with lots of lovimuss!!!

The Bumbles is my Head Centurioness...She protects me and stays by my side and nobody....NOBODY...messes with The Bumbles...even me!!!

The Bumbles IS The Bumbles and she is my Greatest Centurioness everimuss

The Bumbles is. She just IS.

The Stealth Bomber just IS as well...He has decimated the wildlife population in the Two Legs garden....

Birds, Frogs, Mice, Rats....The Stealthymuss Bomber doesn't care!!! He brings them all home for The Two Legs.

He never kills them though. They is running and hopping about every morning and Man Two Legs returns them to the gardenimuss...until Stealth Bomber brings them back in again...;-)

Scampi is 20 years oldimuss....Scampi is my DJ now...I lost my DJ so Scampi teaches me...he is old and wise

Two Legs says he will not 'make next summer' but I knows Scampi.....He will always be here even when he isn't.

Scampi will never leave me. Not really. Like DJ he will live forever in the mind of Maximus Spittimus.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I as spokens.


I wants more Centurions for my protection.

I does.

If you would like to join my Centurions and be a part of the life of the one and only Maximus Spittimus then e-mail your pics to fourdinners@aol.com and The Two Legs will post your pics and you will be a part of my Centurion Army for ever and ever and ever.

Then like me...Maximus Spittimus...you will be immortalimuss!!!!

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS has spokens...

ps....Old Kitty and Charlie are Senior Centurions already.... just so you knowimuss...

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Maximus Cheekimuss

I as chubby cheeks says Two Legs.....I is cheekymuss and chubby cheekimuss say man Two Legs.
Man Two Legs says I has such chubby cheeks I looks like ginger Hamster!

Man Two Legs is so dumb!

I stick my tongueimuss outs at him from my blankimuss!

I is not Hamster! I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I as spokens!

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na...I wanna start a fight!

I sticks out my tongueimuss cause I is Maximus Spittimus and I is not afraidimuss of anyone or anythingimuss!

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na I wants to start a fight!!!!

I is Maximus Spittimus and I is not afraid of anythingimuss...I is Emporer Maximus Spittimus and I will call on my Centurions to beats you all upimuss!!!

...no I won'ts.....I loves you really as you loves me.....


Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Maximus Rotundimuss

The good news :

Lady Two Legs gets up in the morning and feeds me and my gang.

Man Two Legs gets up when Lady Two Legs is in shower and feeds me again.

Lady and Man Two Legs go to work and Little Two Legs, home from Uni, gets up and feeds me.

None of them know they are not the only ones feeding me.

This is good. I likes my food.

The bad news :

The Two Legs have realised and I is only fed once in the morning now!!!


Man Two Legs say I is getting fatimuss!!! I is not fatimuss!!!! I is pleasantly rotundimuss!!!

I likes my food!

No fair!!!!

I is hungry MAXIMUS (Pleasantly Rotundimuss) SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

Friday, 5 November 2010


There is loud bangs going on....are we at warimuss???

Two Legs say it is Bonfire Night so bangimuss is normal!!

Bangimuss is normal???...Two Legs are daftimuss!!!

Bangimuss is not normal...bangimuss is loudimus!!!

Stealthy and Scampi don't even notice...The Bumbles is outsideimuss IN THIS NOISIMUSS??? She is mad as a hatterimuss!!!

Two Legs say 'it is only Fireworks Maximus'...ONLY???? They is BANGIMUSS!!! and I no likeimuss!!!!

Bumbles is outside and doesn't care! Stealthy and Scampi are obliviousimuss???

I is frightenedimuss!!! LOUD BANGIMUSS...

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is hiding under blankyimuss for the night!!!