Newby Finds Fat Man's Lappimus

Newby is eating my food!!!!

I don't minds too muchimuss as he is already showing signs that he knows I is THE BOSS.

Fat Man Two Legs lay on the kitchen floor stroking Newby as he ate his food.

Then Newby sat in his lap!!!

OI!!! Newby!!! They is my laps....you must ask me before you sit in them!!!!

Still....Fat Man Two legs has comfy lap and Newby hasn't had a lap for a loooong time.

Newby will shortly be appointed my Centurion Of The Laps....

....once he remembers to ask me firstimuss!!!!

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS and I 'as spokens!!!

A Happy Maximus New Year!!!

I as not posted for a bit cause I as been sniffings........

A new cat is here. She is called Noushka. She is not a cat, she is a cow. I as batted her ears. I will not have any pics of Nu-Nu, as the Two Legs call her, until she learns to behave.

Chrissimuss was cool! I got to eat lots of Turkey and sausage meat and ham and pork and anything elses that the Two legs gave me.....except brussel sprouts...they is 'orribleimuss!!!

I got presentimusses!!! I got Catnip mouses and toys to tear to bits!!!! Bumble and Stealth Bomber got presentimusses too cause they are loyal to Maximus...

Nu-Nu got a big cage to live in cause she won't behave...she will learn that this is Maximus land and she must behave!!!!

(Actually Noushka was rescued by daughter Jacqui. She's 18 months old and has had no socialisation with either cats or people - as my scars would show - we are trying to integrate her into our home. If we fail she will be rehomed to a 'one cat' household. I'll let you know how it goes. A gorgeous looking completely neurotic Torty nicknamed 'Psycho Kitty by me)....4D aka Man Two Legs aka Aide de Camp to Maximus Spittimus...

Be quiet Two Legs...this is my blog!!!

I had to sleeps off all the Turkey and sausage meat and ham an pork on my blanky....



The Bumbles let me sleeps with her on her chair again...Nobody but Maximus Spittimus gets to sleeps on The Bumbles chair!!!

 I needed more sleeps with Stealthy too as I had eaten so much Turkey and stuffing and I was stuffings!!!!

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS

.....and I wishes my Centurion kitties and rabbits and doggies a Happy New Year with lots of mouses to chase and lots of trees to climb and lots of nice places to go sniffings....

I HAS SPOKENS!

I Is Here!!! So Two Legs CAN find The Timeimuss???

Two Legs?.....phtttt!!!

He is lazimuss....

I IS HERE. HE doesn't even knows I is....Little Two Legs has come home from Madagascar and she hugs me and kisses me. SHE knows I is HERE and she has been in Madagascar!!!!

We is waiting to be fed and man Two legs is getting all huffimuss...."We is due at the airport" he says....AND???

He wants to go to airport (what is airport????) before he feeds us????

SACRILEGE!!!!!!!!!

I will be takings controlimuss of this house again. I has been too softimuss. I has let Two Legs get untrained.

I has made mistake. I has been too kindimuss. Maximus will regain total controlimuss.

Two Legs is warnedimuss!!!!

The Bumbles has told me.....The Two Legs is good and will feedimuss all of us but WE must remind them WE is in charge.

They will be reminded.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMU8S and I has spokens.

Purrfect

 This is me....lookiing forward to my currymuss!!!

The little Two Legs is home with her little man Two Legs.

My Two Legses are here.

They is having a currymuss tonight. I likes currymuss. I eats Chicken Vindaloo.

I then drinks a lot of water and, even better, I farts in the night.

As I sleeps near lady Two Legs face this is fun.

I is off to eats my currymuss.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS  and I has spokens......later I will have farted...;-)

MAXIMUS Maximus

Is not!!!!

I refutes this insult to my magnificent personage!!!!

I is not getting FAT!!!!!!

I is pleasantly rotundimuss!!!!

Damn cheek these Two Legs have!!!!!

Disgraceful behaviour!!!!!

My claws await their toes as they is sleepings!!!!

Is just big boned and my fur is big too!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is insulted!!!!

Maximus Rotundimuss

The good news :

Lady Two Legs gets up in the morning and feeds me and my gang.

Man Two Legs gets up when Lady Two Legs is in shower and feeds me again.

Lady and Man Two Legs go to work and Little Two Legs, home from Uni, gets up and feeds me.

None of them know they are not the only ones feeding me.

This is good. I likes my food.

The bad news :

The Two Legs have realised and I is only fed once in the morning now!!!

Once?????

Man Two Legs say I is getting fatimuss!!! I is not fatimuss!!!! I is pleasantly rotundimuss!!!

I likes my food!

No fair!!!!

I is hungry MAXIMUS (Pleasantly Rotundimuss) SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.