Sunday, 24 October 2010

I, The One And Only Maximus Spittimus, Is One.

I is one.

I is the only one and I is one.

The Universe has officially existed for one year.

I hopes you is all suitably grateful.


Thursday, 21 October 2010

Before There Was Maximus

Before????? Before meimuss???? There was a before MEEEE?????

I am shockedimuss to the core of my whiskers. I am. I am.

DJ told me there was a before me time. I always believed DJ but thought he was jokimussing me!

Now I has seen proofimuss I is shockedimuss. I is also proudimuss that I can continue the line of great cats and say that they are greatimuss, but I is bestimuss.

Two Legs says he will scan piccies of older cats long gone for me to see. Some, he says are lost forever when his computer crashed and he hadn't put them on a disk...uh? What is he on about?

He says piccies Hissing Sid and Tiddler and Tara and Mouse.....Mouse??? There was a cat called Mouse???....are lost. He better not lose my pics. I is Maximus Spittimus and my pics are sacred!!!

This is 'Holly'. She was a Christmas kitten. She was rescued from kids kicking her around in the street and her brainimuss was damaged. Two Legs say she was always 6 months old in her head - the Vetimuss said so - but she was Man Two Legs baby and he snuggled her and she was a happy kitty. I wish I had met her...

This is L to R, Hissing Sid, Tiddler, my DJ and my Scampi. Hissing Sid and Tiddler went to Great Cat before I was here - I am still shockedimuss that there was a 'before I was here'. Hissing Sid 'hissed' at all Two Legs except man Two Legs - even Lady Two Legs and Little Two Legs was hissed at. I think I would have liked Hissing Sid. Tiddler was always wild DJ had told me. Nobody could touch her - except once when she was poorly and she sat on Lady Two Legs lap. Apart from that one time she would scratch and bite any Two Legs who tried to touch her - I missed so much fun before I was here!!!

My DJ is gone now but my Scampi is still here. He is 20 years old now. He will be as old as DJ was next year.

This is Princess Puffball. DJ said she was found wandering the streets and was blind and deaf. Two Legs found she could hear if the sound was high pitched enough. The Two Legs took her in and she spent many happy years walking into things and getting cuddledimuss.

I am shockedimuss that there was 'before me' but I likes the before me cats. They is coolimuss.

Now don't lose my picciemusses Two Legs!!!!!!

The Two Legs first ever cats 27 years ago....27???????....were Duke and Duchess. DJ was named after the first ever cat - Duke. Lady Two Legs called him that after a Two Legs called John Wayne, who she liked said DJ. The Duke was Boss Cat. I will be Boss Cat one day and think of Duke. I will always think of my DJ.

Goodnight DJ. You will be happy with Great Cat. I know this because.........

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

Monday, 18 October 2010

The Stealth Bomber

 Man Two Legs is not calling Blackie 'Blackie' anymore. He is calling him 'Stealth Bomber' - and Blackie is even answering when Man Two Legs says 'Here Stealthy'.

This is because Blac...I mean Stealthy keeps catching things more than any other cat has.

Mices and frogs and birds and more mices and more birds - not frogs now as it is too cold for any frogs to be out. Either that or he has catchimuused them all!!!

Last night the Lady Two Legs screamed when she moved our biscuit bowl. There was a little mousimuss hiding under it.

Mind you, she screamed louder when brought a frog onto the bed in the summer!!!

Man Two Legs has scattered DJ's ashes over the rockery where he used to sleeps in the sunshine.

I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, thanks you for your nice purrs when DJ went.

I has spokens.

Friday, 8 October 2010


I as lost DJ.

He has gone to Great Cat and I is sadimuss.

He walked into the living room, gave a sigh and lay down.

Then he diedimuss. He went away.

The Two Legs say they is gladimuss that they didn't have to go to Vet.

DJ was so oldimuss. He was a FIGHTER. He lived to 21 cause he was a FIGHTER.

Two Legs says his heart just gave out.........

He didn't suffer you know. He just lay down and sighed and .........went.

DJ is with Great Cat.

I is sad but I is not sad cause DJ just 'went'.

I is missings him already.

Two Legs cried and then wrapped him in blanky - not MY blanky!!! - and now he goes to be made into ashes.

Goodnight DJ.

I loves you and will never forget you.


ps...I would have puts up pics but Blogger is a piece of shite and wouldn't lets me.

Hellooooo Blogger! You is a complete piece of shitimuss. So there.

My DJ has goneimuss and I can't post piccies of him cause Blogger is shiteimuss.

I will post piccies of DJ when Blogger is not shiteimuss.......perhaps in ten yearsimuss?

...what a pile of shitimuss Blogger is eh?