Monday, 31 January 2011

The Bumbles According To Maximus Spittimus

Two Legs are happymuss.

I is happymuss.

The Bumbles is Hyperthyroidal.

I has no idea what that means but The Bumbles will take pills according to The Two Legs and will be fine.

The Bumbles will be fine.

The Two Legs have said so.

More importantly of course, I has said so!

The Bumbles will be fine.

I, The Emporer of Everything, thanks you for your purrs and hugs and bestist wishes for The Bumbles.

My Bumble will carry on being here to teach me the ways of catdom so I can be a great Emporer for all cats - and doggies and rabbits and squirrels and meerkats and other things.....

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens....I is happymuss as well...

I thankimuss you all!!!!

Friday, 28 January 2011

The Crown Jewels

Bumble...aka The 'The Crown Jewels'.

Bumble is 'The Little Two Legs' cat.

She always has been and always will be.

Bumble arrived at the Two Legs abode when she was a small kitten. About 8 weeks old.

Her left eye was lost already to 'Cat Flu' and was removed by the vet.

Bumble spent several days in the arms of the Little Two Legs and made a purring sound reminiscent of a Bumble Bee - she was, henceforth, christened 'BUMBLE'.

Bumble is now 13 years old and her health is suffering. She has always been a small cat, but....she has gone from 2.9 Kilos to 2.6 Kilos in 3 months and there aren't a lot of Kilo's to lose.....

There is a problem.

Blood tests have ensued and we await the results.

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS requests that his Glorious Centurions keep their paws crossed for Bumble.

It is a time of concern for Maximus. Bumble (The Bumbles) has been his teacher in the fine etiquette of 'cathood'. Maximus clearly loves her dearly and WILL NOT LOSE THE BUMBLES!!!!

Your cat prayers are required and much appreciated.

Maximus thanks you.


Four Dinners
Aide De Camp
Maximus Spittimus

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

The End Of The First Year and The Start Of The Second Year Of Maximus Spittimus

This is the year of me - Maximus Spittimus. Well, last year was the year of me too. Every year is the year of meimuss - and quite right too! After all, I is the Emporer of everythings I surveys and everythings I don't surveys so every year has to be the year of meimuss!!!

Last year was greatimuss cause it was my first year so it must have been the first year the universe existed - I know there was other cats before me but everything must have been a sort of void back then as I wasn't in it.

I is going to post more now I has recovered from Christmas and New Year. I ates so much turkey I couldn't move for most of January and the Two Legs had to carries me everywhere. I deserved the turkey though so that is alrights.

The tree belonged to me but Bumble guarded it for me.

I practised my Ninja skills on Stealthy - lulling him into a false sense of security then bopping him on the headimuss!

Little Two Legs was home with another man Two Legs who made a fuss of me so he can come againimuss. He is called Max so I likes him a lotimuss!!!!

Man Two Legs drank lots of the stuff he drinks but he didn't fall over like everyone else who drank lots of this stuff.
Little Two Legs drank something called 'Daddy's Special Home Made Ukranian Vodka'. I don't know what it is but she said the room was spinning around and hid under Man Two Legs fleece. The room wasn't spinnings!!! I would have known if the room wwas spinnings! I would have got dizzimuss!!! Two Legs can be very strange.....

Lady Two Legs nearly lost the turkey to The Bumbles - good job she isn't as quick as she used to be!

Scampi had his turkey mashed up so he could chew it. I will still have all my teeths when I is 21 years old!!!!

I think this is going to be a very good year - mainly cause I am in it.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Maximus Spittimus Seagull

Two Legs has taken lots of pics of me on his new camera - but, being Two Legs, he hasn't worked out how to download them yet.

Lots of new piccies are on the way....hopefully this milleniumimuss.......

Two Legs thinks I is a Seagull.

I tolds you he is nuttymuss!!!

He says I is like the Seagulls in 'Finding Nemo'....Nemo is a fish. If I find him I will eats him!

Two Legs say Seagulls say 'Mine! Mine! Mine!' and he thinks I says that too!!!

If Two Legs pick me up and I don't wants to be picked up I says so! Two Legs says I go 'Mee! Mee! Mee!' and says 'It's all about you Maximus isn't it?'


It should be about somebody else??????

Two Legs is so dumb.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and it is all about me!!!!

I has spokens.


I is ginger furry Seagull......;-)