The Maximus Spittimus Empire

Rightimuss...

After my frightening thingimuss recently I 'as been a bit lax governing my Empire....

Stealthy and my Centurions run away from a dog and the Man Two Legs hits someone for hitting me with his shoeimuss...I hardly felt it...

I 'as been looking under the sink and in dark corners for things to jump out and they hasnt's....

The Two Legs don't know what I am looking for and neither does I.

I is getting back to normalimuss so my world must get back to normalimuss.

My world is THE MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS EMPIRE and I is back to governing it!!!

The Man Two Legs is taking more pics of my Centurions and, of course, me.

Normality is restoredimuss.....at lastimuss...

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS (WRIGGLY KITTY) AND I 'AS SPOKENS.

Dogs and cats and dogs and cats

NOW BE QUIET!!!!! THIS IS MY EMPIRE!!!!

Good grief....Lacey the dog, the dog from next door, comes running in through our...er..MY front door and barks and Stealthy and my Centurions run away - except The Bumbles aka Bumble aka Bumbleeeny who just sits and hisses at her...er...it...

.....some muslim (what is one of those?) neighbour throws a shoe at me - in front of my Man Two Legs - and says I am the pet of an 'infidel'....what is an infidel???...and my Man Two Legs thumps him and he falls over and the police come and.....well...I is not sure what happens nextimuss...My Man Two Legs shouts at the police and they goes away.

People seems to go away if MY Man Two Legs shout....He shouts loudimuss and won't shut upimuss.

He NEVER shouts at me and mine though....so that is what countsimuss?

I am Maximus Spittimus...but I is subduedimuss....

There are strange things happenings in my neighbourhood and I don't understandimuss....

The Man Two Legs says we are leaving.....he says we are leaving before he 'loses it'.

What is he losing? I is confusedimuss....this is MY placeimuss.

Why are we leaving?

I 'as been here since I was this....

Dennis The Menace

I is AMAZED!!!! I is in AWE!!!!

Dennis the cat has stolens lots of things from washing lines......he has even stolens a doggie chew from the doggie!!!!

Dennis has made the national news in newspapers and television!!!!

Dennis has stolens thongs and towels and t-shirts...

When anything goes missing near Dennis's home the neighbours go to his home to ask if he's stolen it.....

knickers, designer pants, training shoes, gardening gloves....Dennis takes everythingimuss!!!

You can find Dennis on Google and read of his incredible exploits!!!

Dennis A STAR!!!!

Dennis is hereby confered with special dispensation....

Dennis is henceforth THE MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS (WRIGGLY KITTY) CENTURION FOR STEALING THINGIMUSSES

DENNIS IS AWESOMEIMUSS!!!!

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spokens!!!!

MAXIMUS MAXIMUS!!!!!!!!!!

I WAS THIS....

NOW.....

I AM THIS.....

I AM THE EMPORER MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND YOU ARE MY SUBJECTS IN MY EMPIRE.....AND DON'T YOU FORGETIMUSS IT!!!

Kitties Growimuss!!!

Marie is looking so much like her mum Tabatha Tab-Tabs that she is also known as Mini-Me

Purrdy likes to dangle from things...arm chairs, curtains, ceilings...aka Dangle Purrds...

And of courseimuss...I looks over them benevolently as I is their Emporer....

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS

Legend Of The Fruitbat

Where did Gracie Mae come from?....I 'as no idea....she just IS....

The Two Legs are in 'Cats Protection'...a British national registered charity that looks after cats that nobody wantsimuss....sometimes somebody wants them and they gets their own home. Sometimes nobody wants them so they stays here and becomes MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS CENTURIONS.

The Lady Two Legs 'CP Group Co-Ordinator' received a telephone call from the owner of a 'strip pub'....exotic dancers and such things...I 'as no idea what they is....

"I'm not going THERE!" said the Lady Two Legs CP Group Co-Ordinator.

"I'm not going THERE!" said my Lady Two Legs.

"I'll go!" said my Man Two Legs.....he always seems so wiseimuss doesn't he?....

The Man Two Legs rescued Tabatha Tab-Tabs who was heavily preggers and gave us the much missed Smokey Jo(sephine), Jack and Jill and the much loved and remaining in MY empire Purrdy and Marie.

He also rescued Gracie 'Fruit Bat' Mae.

Now Gracie Mae is a Tabby girl....as you can see in this piccie...

But she is so much more...

She is a DEVA....She is a POSEUR....SHE IS GRACIE MAE!!!!

She is also a sandwich short of a picnic...but I doesn't do picnics anyways so I doesn't careimuss...

SHE IS GRACIE MAE...THE FRUIT BAT...SHE IS MY BABY AND SHE IS UNDER THE PROTECTION AND LOVE OF THE EMPORER MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS.

That is ALL you needs to know....

I loves my Fruit Bat.

She is MY FRUIT BAT......She is not all there but then again....who is?

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS (WRIGGLY KITTY) AND I 'AS SPOKENS.