I AM STEALTH BOMBER...Silent and so very very deadly...

 

I was a stray cat. I was unwanted and nobody loved me.

Now I am Stealth Bomber. I was Blackie...now I am STEALTH BOMBER.

I is like an exocet missile. I is silent and DEADLY - well I is if you are a mousey or a froggy or a birdy.

I is STEALTH BOMBER and I is guest posting on Maxinus Spittimus.

I loves my Lady Two Legs the best. She feeds me and hugs me and I is HOME.

I is STEALTH BOMBER and Maximus Spittimus has let me spokens.

I is STEALTH BOMBER AND NOBODY IS SAFE!!!....

well....not if you're mousey or froggy or birdie.

When I arrived I was unloved and unwanted...nobody cared about me. Now they do. Now I is STEALTH BOMBER.

I is a Maximus Spittimus Centurion and I will be number one (...er...after The Bumbles obviously...)

Maximus Spittmus Centurions R U

I is not looking down on my Centurions...honestimuss I isn't...I is just higher up than them!!!

I adore my Centurions and I rules them with lots of lovimuss!!!

The Bumbles is my Head Centurioness...She protects me and stays by my side and nobody....NOBODY...messes with The Bumbles...even me!!!

The Bumbles IS The Bumbles and she is my Greatest Centurioness everimuss

The Bumbles is. She just IS.

The Stealth Bomber just IS as well...He has decimated the wildlife population in the Two Legs garden....

Birds, Frogs, Mice, Rats....The Stealthymuss Bomber doesn't care!!! He brings them all home for The Two Legs.

He never kills them though. They is running and hopping about every morning and Man Two Legs returns them to the gardenimuss...until Stealth Bomber brings them back in again...;-)

Scampi is 20 years oldimuss....Scampi is my DJ now...I lost my DJ so Scampi teaches me...he is old and wise

Two Legs says he will not 'make next summer' but I knows Scampi.....He will always be here even when he isn't.

Scampi will never leave me. Not really. Like DJ he will live forever in the mind of Maximus Spittimus.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I as spokens.

except....

I wants more Centurions for my protection.

I does.

If you would like to join my Centurions and be a part of the life of the one and only Maximus Spittimus then e-mail your pics to fourdinners@aol.com and The Two Legs will post your pics and you will be a part of my Centurion Army for ever and ever and ever.

Then like me...Maximus Spittimus...you will be immortalimuss!!!!

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS has spokens...

ps....Old Kitty and Charlie are Senior Centurions already.... just so you knowimuss...

MAXIMUS BANGIMUSS!!!!

There is loud bangs going on....are we at warimuss???

Two Legs say it is Bonfire Night so bangimuss is normal!!

Bangimuss is normal???...Two Legs are daftimuss!!!

Bangimuss is not normal...bangimuss is loudimus!!!

Stealthy and Scampi don't even notice...The Bumbles is outsideimuss IN THIS NOISIMUSS??? She is mad as a hatterimuss!!!

Two Legs say 'it is only Fireworks Maximus'...ONLY???? They is BANGIMUSS!!! and I no likeimuss!!!!

Bumbles is outside and doesn't care! Stealthy and Scampi are obliviousimuss???

I is frightenedimuss!!! LOUD BANGIMUSS...

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is hiding under blankyimuss for the night!!!

The Stealth Bomber

 Man Two Legs is not calling Blackie 'Blackie' anymore. He is calling him 'Stealth Bomber' - and Blackie is even answering when Man Two Legs says 'Here Stealthy'.

This is because Blac...I mean Stealthy keeps catching things more than any other cat has.

Mices and frogs and birds and more mices and more birds - not frogs now as it is too cold for any frogs to be out. Either that or he has catchimuused them all!!!

Last night the Lady Two Legs screamed when she moved our biscuit bowl. There was a little mousimuss hiding under it.

Mind you, she screamed louder when Bla...er..Stealthy brought a frog onto the bed in the summer!!!

Man Two Legs has scattered DJ's ashes over the rockery where he used to sleeps in the sunshine.

I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, thanks you for your nice purrs when DJ went.

I has spokens.

Me And My Gangimuss

The Bumble is sleepings on the micro wave. I hopes she doesn't sleeps in the micro wave. She be very hot Bumbles then!

The Blackie goes sleeps on my blanky! MY BLANKY!!!!!! Good jobs he is my friend or I hiss and spittimus!!

As my blankimuss is not available (Disgraceful behaviour!!!) I go sleeps on little Two Legs bedimuss. The Bumble joins me - obviously reading my minds about sleepings in micro wave...it's safer here Bumbles!!!

Meanwhiles the old boys stand guardimuss....

DJ The Blindimuss is nearly 21 years old. That is as old as little Two Legs!!!! He is ancients!!!! I giudes him around the house. If I don't he bumps into things....

Scampi is nearly 19 years old. 'A mere strippling compared to DJ' says man Two Legs. A what? Man Two Legs talks weird. He daft as a brush (as he says)....;-)

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND I HAS SPOKENS

I Is Chewings

 I is chewings somethings. I has no idea what I is chewings but I likes chewings. 

I is chewings something from lady Two Legs car. She had to take it out to fit in all the stuffs little Two Legs is takings to her other house for Uni.

Lady Two Legs took young Two Legs away to her other house. It is rented for Uni they say. What is a Uni? Is it a cat? I hopes it isn't a dog as I loves little Two Legs and I is angry if she is having anything to do with dogs.

I doesn't not like dogs - they has Four Legs like me and is furry like me so is more sensible than Two Legs but they is dumb and makes funny noises.

Blackie watched me chewings but didn't want to chew. Blackie has brighty eyes

The Bumbles turned a blind eye to my chewings......turned a blind eye? I is jokey Maximus now! The Bumbles only has one eye. It was joke. YOU WILL LAUGH AT MY JOKEIMUSSES!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens and jokens too!!!

I is handsomest and cleverist Maximus and I loves you being here with me........I will share a purr x

Maximus Is Backimus

I claim the stairs as the official territory of Maximus Spittimus. Besides, I can trip up Two Legs as they go up and down. This is good fun. Especially last week when man Two Legs couldn't even step over me 'cause his bottom hurt. hehehehe

Just so's you know as I have had to be absent 'cause of Two Legs Botty - very inconsiderate of him I might adds...does he not know I am the only reason his entire universe exists??? - Blacky is now coming into house and eatings.

The Bumbles still thinks she is in charge and lords it over us on top of the microwave....and no, I hasn't a clue what a microwave is - although man Two Legs said 'If you jump on my bottom again I will microwave you!'...What he means?

DJ of the shiny eyes - have you seen his eyes always shine in piccies? He must be possessed! - has been napping in man Two Legs chair 'cause man Two Legs couldn't sit down.

Scampi always sits on backs of chairs. I like Scampi lots but he is weird cat.....

'Cause man Two Legs gets hot easy lady Two Legs turns heating down 'til he is better but gets colds so puts dressing gown on her lap....now it is my dressing gown and my lap....as is only right and proper.

Man Two Legs say he take me to see you tomorrow to see what you are doings.

I 'as missed you.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spokens.

Blacky

I has new friend. He is wild Tom. Two Legs feed him and now he lets them stroke him. He led me into wild outdoors when man Two Legs ran down garden in his boxer shorts. I like Blacky and he like me.

Two Legs say he has to have operation on his 'things' so he can come in house. What things?

Blacky come in house when Two Legs not here. One time man Two Legs come in through door and Blacky run for cat hole in back door. Thing is, man Two Legs has it on in only to stop me going into wild outside until I is ready.

Blacky headbutted cat hole and bounced off. It was very funnies.

Two Legs say "It's ok Blacky" but Blacky think 'it not ok!' and take big run and smashes through locked cat hole in back door.

Blacky very strong and tough. He my friend. I hope he still my friend when he has things done to his things...whatever that means...

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens...