I IS AND I IS AND THEY ARE...BUT I IS

There is other's....I do know thisimuss...

There is other cats..and...they are not necessarily Centurions.

I accept this...up to a pointimuss.

They may not know I existimuss...yet....

They will though...

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS...THE EMPORER MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND I EXISTS...THEREFORE THEY EXIST TO SERVE ME....they just don't knows it yet...

 She may love doggy but she doesn't know Maximus yet...she will love Maximus firstimuss!!!

Dumb kitty thinks her mouseimuss is a real mouseimuss...I will tellimuss her!!!

I am speachlessimuss!!!....You can be my Centurion of the boggimuss....as long as Two Legs don't pissimuss...

We will move onto those worthy of Centurion status...as in Gambling cattimus...providing you winimuss...

And smiling gingerimous!!!....He is smiling at me so he is clearly a Centurian in the makingimuss!!!

Ginger mad as hatterimous is immediatel;y made a Centurian as he is clearly mad as a hatterimous and may do something mad as a hatterimous if I don't makes him Centurion......

Now I can only say, as your Emporer, that SHE is a GODDESS...SHE clearly rules Dogdem and I is in lovesimuss....

This is my brideimuss.

I is Maximus Spittimus.....and I as spokens.....

Noushka Nu Nu What??????

Nu Nu is....I am led to believe...staying in the realm of Maximus (Wriggly Kitty) Spittimus.

This is coolimuss. This is fineimuss.

Providing she behavesimuss!!!

She won't you know....the Two legs knows it....The Bumbles knows it....I knows it.

Still...if we don't give her a home then who will???

Bumble aka The Bumble is cool with it...she bopped Nu Nu on the head and Nu Nu knew her placeimuss..

The Stealth Bomber touched noses so I thought it was fineimuss...

Then? Since? He runs away from her and she chases him...

Stealthy runs away?????

He really is daft as a brushimuss!!!!

Stealthy?....Sort it out Centurion Stealth Bomber.....

Sort it out!

She is Noushka Nu Nu...the latest Centurioness in The Maximus (Wriggly Kitty) Spittimus Army

I is Maximus (Wriggly Kitty) Spittimus....

...and I has spokens

A Happy Maximus New Year!!!

I as not posted for a bit cause I as been sniffings........

A new cat is here. She is called Noushka. She is not a cat, she is a cow. I as batted her ears. I will not have any pics of Nu-Nu, as the Two Legs call her, until she learns to behave.

Chrissimuss was cool! I got to eat lots of Turkey and sausage meat and ham and pork and anything elses that the Two legs gave me.....except brussel sprouts...they is 'orribleimuss!!!

I got presentimusses!!! I got Catnip mouses and toys to tear to bits!!!! Bumble and Stealth Bomber got presentimusses too cause they are loyal to Maximus...

Nu-Nu got a big cage to live in cause she won't behave...she will learn that this is Maximus land and she must behave!!!!

(Actually Noushka was rescued by daughter Jacqui. She's 18 months old and has had no socialisation with either cats or people - as my scars would show - we are trying to integrate her into our home. If we fail she will be rehomed to a 'one cat' household. I'll let you know how it goes. A gorgeous looking completely neurotic Torty nicknamed 'Psycho Kitty by me)....4D aka Man Two Legs aka Aide de Camp to Maximus Spittimus...

Be quiet Two Legs...this is my blog!!!

I had to sleeps off all the Turkey and sausage meat and ham an pork on my blanky....



The Bumbles let me sleeps with her on her chair again...Nobody but Maximus Spittimus gets to sleeps on The Bumbles chair!!!

 I needed more sleeps with Stealthy too as I had eaten so much Turkey and stuffing and I was stuffings!!!!

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS

.....and I wishes my Centurion kitties and rabbits and doggies a Happy New Year with lots of mouses to chase and lots of trees to climb and lots of nice places to go sniffings....

I HAS SPOKENS!

I IS Therefore I IS

I is and will always be.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I will always be Maximus Spittimus.

There is a question?

I IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE.....MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS....

Just to reminds you as The Two Legs is busy and hasn't the times to postimuss....

You is my Centurions so stay faithful or the wrath of Maximus may come downs on youimuss!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens...

Wriggly Kitty and The Magenpie

The Two Legs are calling me 'Wriggly Kitty'!!!!

WRIGGLY KITTY???????

I????? MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS?????? EMPORER OF EVERYTHING I SURVEY AND EVERYTHING I HAVEN'T YET SURVEYED?????

WRIGGLY KITTY????????

I knows I wriggles when they pick me up but that is because picking up The Emporer of The Universe is WRONG!!!! - er - unless I wants to be picked up.....

I saw a Magenpie.

I saw two Magenpie's.

They screeched and swooped above my headimuss.

Magenpie's are birdies. I know this 'cause they flyimuss and Magenpie's flyimuss.

Birdies run from me. Everything I don't like or wants to eat runs from me.

Magenpie's don't.

They screechimuss and swoopimuss.

CENTURIANS EN GUARD!!!!

WE IS AT WARIMUSS WITH MAGENPIE'S!!!!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens....

A Goose??? A Goose???

The Two Legs is back - and about time too. Leaving me on my ownsimuss indeed!

The Stealth Bomber vanished for five days, Bumble hid in the wardrobe and Scampi crapped in the bedroom - I loves Scampi!!!!

The Little Two Legs and her pet...another man Two Legs...came to stay. That was coolimuss but, they brought another 4 Two Legses that we didn't even knowimuss!!!

'Strangers!' meowed Stealthy and wasn't seen again until he heard our Two Legs voices when they came back.

Little Two Legs fed us and watered us and cuddled me so...just to show who is really in charge I went off my foodimuss - I didn't really, I just wanted everyone to feel guilty!!! (I ate biccies at night when nobody was looking - don't tell them)

Lady Two Legs is still laughings 'cause Man Two Legs was chased by a Goose. It looks like a big fat pigeon to me.

Lady Two Legs say Man Two Legs tried to walk away when the Goose charged but it wouldn't acceptimuss 'walking'. It kept charging Man Two Legs until he started runnings!!!

I is going along next time. I must see Goose chasing Man Two Legs!!!!.....I will ask it to join my Centurion Army. In fact...I will makes it honorararary member now I shall.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and likes Gooses!

All Is Wellimus In The World Of Maximus Spittimus

I is good....actually...I is greatimuss!!!

Bumble is well again,

Scampi is Scampi

 

and The Stealth Bomber continues to stealthily bomb any living creature that invades MY garden.

 

The Maximus Spittimus Universe is good.

The Two Legs universe is a bit chaotic so he can't post a lot for a bittimuss.

Well...that's what he thinks....carefully directed claws in delicate places will ensue and MAXIMUS WILL NOT BE DENIED!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS  and I has spokens to my loyal Centurions (and other lesser creatures)

(If you would honour me by becoming a MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS CENTURION then e-mail your picture and details to fourdinners@aol.com....but make it quickimuss...AOL are toast in the Maximus household and will shortly be replaced by Orange).

So there.

I IS THE ONE!!!!

Now...let's be serious here. I IS THE ONE. I is Maximus Spittimus. The Emperor of everything.

This is not a matter for debate. This is the way it is - and you are forever grateful for The Emperor Maximus Spittimus endowing life, the universe and everything upon you.

The Bumbles is Bumble...aka The Bumbles...aka Bumbeliney...

I IS THE BOSS.

I IS IN CHARGE.

YOU...MY CENTURIONS....ANSWER TO ME.

I has allowedimuss Stealthy and Bumble to speakimuss on my blog but....BUT....BUT

Pleasimuss to not misunderstandimuss.

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND I IS IN CHARGIMUSS.

Your continued and quite sensible worship of myself is appreciated....imuss....

THE BUMBLES SPEAKS!!!!!

Now.

Let's get this straight.

I am Bumble.

I am Queen Bee around here.

This house, this universe, this world IS MINE....if I want it...I don't...I am merely ensuring the ONE who should have it gets it.

Maximus Spittimus will rule one day - it is clearly his destiny - but for now.....

I IS BUMBLE.

I IS THE RULER.

Got it?

That is not to say that all of you who admire and rightly adore Maximus should suddenly admire Bumble more.

Maximus Spittimus IS THE EMPORER OF THE UNIVERSE........he just needs me to guide him a bit....er...a lot....

Well...alright...the lights are on and nobody is home but there you go.....is that so different to Obama or Cameron or Putin?......Of course it isn't!!!!

Maximus is young and inexperienced in the ways of the universe....I WILL PROTECT HIM AND TEACH HIM!!

Maximus Spittimus will reach his destiny and anyone who stands in the way of HIS destiny will deal with ME!

I am BUMBLE.....I am The Bumbles.....

I am the Protector and Defender of Maximus Spittimus.

The World will end or the World will accept Maximus Spittimus as it's saviour.....

.....am I supposed to say you dictated this Maximus?

....No?......oh dear......er.....um.....

That was a joke...

I is Junior Two Legs Bestist Baby and I is in charge until I decide Maximus is ready!!!

(I is in charge for a loooooong time).....;-)

I is BUMBLE and YOU don't mess with me....You really don't.

...ps....I is beautiful and gentle really....but I is female.....

The Centurion Army Growsimuss!!!

I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, The Emporer of The Universe and any other bits that are found in the near future that are not considered bits of The Universe, along with any other bits that nobody wants which may, or may not be, bits of The Universe and not to mention places where no sane cat would ever go - China springs eternallymuss to mind - er...where was I?....oh yes....I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, have been advised by my OFFICIAL ADVISOR, Harry Spotter, that I should thank you for joining my Centurion Army.

I does.
I does.

I...er....what is I doing Harry?

Oh yes!...I is thanking you for joining my Centurion Army!

I would be far more effusive but I is sleepings and, as your Emporer Maximus Spittimus I needs my sleepimuss as I have the whole weight of the worldimuss on my shoulders ensuring that you are all happy in my universe - as I know you are cause it is my universe and is the bestest universe everimuss!!!

I as been joined by Senior Centurion Charley, Centurion's Baxter, Pussimuss and Simba along with Centurionesses Elizabeth and Princess, not to mention Rabbit Centurionesses Rosie and Tulip...Rabbits???? Good griefimuss!!! I is even more magnificent than even I realised!!!!....and I have now been joined by Centurion 'Special Advisor' Harry Spotter....

The revolutionimuss is coming!!!!!

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS WILL RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!!.....and why not? I will do a better jobimuss than the Two Legs...;-)

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I 'as spokens.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Centurions R U Update...

Please include a link to your blogimuss when you mail you Centurion pics to Maximus as he has graciously agreed to include a link on your pic.....providing the Two Legs - who is technologically inept can manage it.

Thank you.

Four Dinners
Aide de Camp
Maximus Spittimus