Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Billy No Mates Is My Latest Centurion

We have a new recruit to the Maximus Empire. He is completely white which has resulted in the man Two Legs shouting "Allwight at the back?" every time he walks through the door. Very oddimuss is man Two Legs.

Billy was given to us by a friend of the Little Two Legs and, as he answered to 'Billy' we kept his nameimuss.

Nobody liked Billy so the Man Two Legs started calling him 'Billy No Mates'.

Now we likes him - most of the timeimuss. Especially after he was shot.

Both Billy No Mates and Gracie Mae The Fruit Bat were shot with an airgun but they is both ok now.
The Police was involved, mainly I thinks to stop the Man Two Legs causing a 'one man' riot in the surrounding area as he looked for the culprit.
Anyways. Billy No Mates has settled inimuss and is currently being trained by Chief Centurion The Stealth Bomber in the niceties of doing my biddingimuss.
I is The Emporer Maxinus Spittimus and I 'as spokens.
(you can follow 'The Continuing Adventures Of Billy No Mates' at under articles from 'Critter Talk' - the Man Two Legs writes them under the pretend name of Norman Rampart. He writes other stuff too but not as important as the Billy No Mates stuff)


  1. You have so spoken Emperor Maximus Spittimus!

    We, your most loyal centurions, wish for painful boils the size of planets to infinitely sprout in the nether regions of whomever shot gorgeous Billy and Gracie!

    A curse and a pox on their household! :-(

    Take care

  2. Greetings, Billy No Mates! We Californian Centurions send our warmest wishes to you and our Two-legs wishes to join your Two-legs in the hunt for whoever shot you and Gracie! Whoever did that deserves the worst of whatever comes to them.

    We bow down before our Emperor. Ave!

    9, Chani and Sheamus Popoki

  3. centurion Bunty would like to do something not very nice to the naughty people who shot poor Billy and Gracie.

  4. centurion Bunty would like to do something not very nice to the naughty people who shot poor Billy and Gracie.

    1. Centurion Bunty wins as centurion Bunty clearly wants to do something evil to the perpetrator twice ;-)

    2. That's probably still a few times less than what Two legs would have done had he caught said air-headed-morons. :-)

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  6. I is so confusidimus, but happy to find my old friend dinnemus.

  7. We're a mite bit late but we'd like to welcome Billy to your family. If you don't mind, Maximus.

  8. I'm late too but give Billy a scratchimuss from all of us over at the Museum. And a very Happy Holidays to you all with loads of good things to come in 2014.