Two Legs Is An Idiotimuss!!!!

Two Legs thought the computer tower was brokened....it wasn't

Two Legs got another computer tower and installed it.

Two Legs had all his passwords on old tower and couldn't remember them.

Maximus couldn't blog because Two Legs is an IDIOTIMUSS!!!!!!!

Now Two Legs has plugged in old tower and got passwords back Maximus can blog again.

Now he is plugging new tower back inimuss.

"Er...Two Legs?"

"Yes Maximus?"

"Have you wrtten downimuss all those passwords?"

"Oh!...Oh yeah!...Good idea Maximus!"

"................................IDIOTIIMUSS..................."

SCAMPI THE WISE AND VENERABLE IS IN A BETTER PLACE

Man Two Legs came downstairs this morning. Scampi had been a bit wobblymuss lately. I think we all knew he was nearing the end.

Still, 22 years is a good age for a cat! He had been sleeping on an armchair for two weeks and Scampi never slept in any chair.....he slept outside in all weathers and only came in when he was sickimuss - and even then the Two Legs had to wear thick gloves to take him to the Vets!!!!

The Two Legs put a blanky in the kitchen near the cat flap so he could run out when he wanted. Scampi slept on his blankymuss. He stopped running out of the cat flap.

He was lying on his blanky in the kitchen. When man Two Legs walked in to put the kettle on - what is kettle? - Scampi meowed.

Man Two Legs picked him up - that was when I knew. NOBODY. NOBODY ever picked up Scampi.

Man Two Legs carried him to water bowlimuss and tried to get him to drink. He meowed again and Man Two Legs put him back on his blanky.

His will was still there but his old body was letting him down.

Man Two Legs called Lady Two Legs and Little Two Legs and they stroked him and kissed him and he went. Just like that.

Seconds before he went he did something oddimuss.

When his sister, Tiddler, was here he used to put his right paw on her head.

He raised his right paw and held it in mid-air for a while......then he went.

My Scampi has gone.

I am bereft....I am inconsolableimuss....I am hungry....

Feed me!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has lost my Scampi....now FEED ME!!!!

Bye old friend...sleep tight...Fourdinners, Caz and Jax  xxxxxx

I Is Here!!! So Two Legs CAN find The Timeimuss???

Two Legs?.....phtttt!!!

He is lazimuss....

I IS HERE. HE doesn't even knows I is....Little Two Legs has come home from Madagascar and she hugs me and kisses me. SHE knows I is HERE and she has been in Madagascar!!!!

We is waiting to be fed and man Two legs is getting all huffimuss...."We is due at the airport" he says....AND???

He wants to go to airport (what is airport????) before he feeds us????

SACRILEGE!!!!!!!!!

I will be takings controlimuss of this house again. I has been too softimuss. I has let Two Legs get untrained.

I has made mistake. I has been too kindimuss. Maximus will regain total controlimuss.

Two Legs is warnedimuss!!!!

The Bumbles has told me.....The Two Legs is good and will feedimuss all of us but WE must remind them WE is in charge.

They will be reminded.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMU8S and I has spokens.

My Centurion Guards

The Stealth Bomber is not known as The Stealth Bomber for nothings....

He catch Mousey and brings it back for me to play with. It is my very own pet mousey!!!

He carries it gently along the top of the fence so I can admire my Chief Centurians grace and loyalty to the Emporer Maximus Spittimus.

Then he puts my new mousey down so I cans play with it....BUT!!! Man Two Legs rescues Mousey and frees it!!!! MY MOUSEY!!!! Brought to his Emporer by Stealthey!!! I chases it around and around before Man Two Legs can catch it so I does have some funnimuss.

Bumble (aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeny) explains to me that Two Legs have always rescued mouseys and frogses and anything that she used to bring home. They do??? Two Legs is very weirdimuss!!!

My wise and venerable Scampi sets up an observation post to tell me if my mousey comes back to play with me again....although strangely, Scampi seems to think it unlikely. Unlikely? Doesn't my mousey understand how honoured he would be to let The Emporer Maximus Spittimus play with him. I would only nibble his head a little bit!!!

All this cahsing mousey and trying to understand silly Two Legs has made me tiredimuss. I sleeps now.

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, EMPORER OF YOU ALL AND I HAS SPOKENS.

They Is Back

Now I knows I hads Scampi (The Venerable and Wise), Bumble (aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeny) and, of course, Stealthy (aka The Stealth Bomber) for company but.....

BUT

Otherwise I was aloneimuss!!!!

I was left aloneimuss!!!!!

They shall pay the price.

I shall bite toes and scratch delicate bits when they is asleepimuss.

The wrath of Maximus Spittimus will know no bounds.

Well.....

...I will waitimuss until the Little Two Legs is back from Madagascarimuss.

Then they will not expect it.

I is going to have fun.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is waiting...I is biding my timeimuss.

I will be UNLEASHED!!!!!

I IS WILDIMUSS!!!! 

I WILL NEVER BE LEFT ALONEIMUSS AGAIN!!!!

er.....can I have some foodimuss?....

Aloneinmuss!!!!

Little Two Legs is in somewhere called Madagascar....Man Two Legs is off to somewhere called Sunderland..... Lady Two Legs is working.....

They is leaving me alone!!!!!

ME!!!!!

The Emporer Maximus Spittimus!!!!!....The Emporer Wriggly Kitty!!!!

ALONE!!!!!

ALONEIMUSS!!!!!!

Disgraceful behaviour....

I may never forgiveimuss them.

Unless I gets special treats when they is not in Madagascar or Sunderland or workings.

Why is Two Legs so nutsimuss?????

How can they leave ME??????

Mad as hatters all of them....

MAD!!!!

Seedimuss

Every time I comes into the house I is grabbed!!!!!

"He is full of seeds!" says Two Legs.

'Seeds' is, as far I understandimuss, little round sticky things in my furrimuss.

I is caught and held and Two Legs picks at me.

They really has no ideaimuss has they?

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS  and I is their...and everyone's Emporer!!!!

You do not picks up MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and removes seeds from HIS coat unless HE wants seeds removed from HIS coat!!!!!!

er...what are seedimusses?