Spinny Thing

This is hole. Is it hole in door?

No! This is bigger hole.

Arrrrgh!!! It is hole into spinny thing

Let me out's of here

I no like spinny thing

I is Maximus Spittimus

I 'as spoken

Maximus Spittimus Is Innocentimuss

Two Legs say I is banned from posting 'cause I goes out of cat flap.

No I doesn't....er....possiblies...

I is on my blanky with my favourite thing.

Two Legs is daftimuss.

I is sitting in sink not runnings about outsides. This is proofimuss!!!

Two Legs did look sillymuss in his underwear chasing down the garden after me though...er

...even if I wasn't there....

I was chasing wet stuff!!!!

Maximus Spittimus IS innocent!!!

I 'as spoken.....

WTF is WTF in Cat?

Looks.

I sees DJ and Scampi goes through hole in door.

I goes through hole in door.

There is problem?

I is cat. I is only reason for universe (whatever that is) existing.

All I wants is to go through hole in door.

I 'as spoken.

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I is dread....

I Sinks I Climbs I Blurs

I is in the sink chasing wet stuff. Two Legs says wet stuff is for drinking not chasing and puts some in a bowl for me. Chasings is more fun!!!

I is climbing wall. I has found I can digs my claws into woody things and climbs a long way! Two Legs lifted me in air and I was worried so I stuck claws in woody things on ceiling and he let me dangle!!!! He did catches me though when I falls.

Two Legs says "Keep still for your close up" so I moves so I can had blurry head. I think blurry head is more fun.

Two Legs says I looks like a ginger Gizmo the Gremlin.

I has no idea what he is sayin'

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I has spoken

Lots Of Muss

I is sleepimuss on my blankimuss

Bumble is yawnimuss (coz I chases her and she is tired)

DJ is let me out of hereimuss - he no like clicky light that Two Legs uses.

And Scampi look pissed offimuss - he no like clicky light either.

This is my home and my friends.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spoken

I Is Brainimuss

Two legs sez this is my brainimuss

The Bumbles says I am daftimuss

I thinks I will believe The Bumbles.....

I is Maximus Spittimus

I 'as spoken

I Washes. I is good Kitty.

This is Scampi...he is wild cat. Now CJ gone Scampi is my friend. He was my friend anyway but now he is more my friend.

He teaches me. My Scampi is cool cat!!!

I washes myself now. CJ, Scampi and The Bumbles taught me to....

I is Maximus Spittimus.

You loves me 'cause I am.

I 'as spoken.

Maximus Guardimuss

I is guarding baggies. In baggies is Two Legs money from thing called churchimuss.

I guards. You no touch churchimuss moneymuss or I hisses.

I has no idea what I is guardimuss. It is plastic thing that Two Legs use for wetty plates and wetty bowls that has my food in. I guard cause I do.

I is Maximus Spittimus

...and I 'as spoken

I Is Wettimus

I is Biteimuss.

I bites blanky but then I is thirsty.

I put head to water thing and it squirts onto my head. I is wet head!

The Bumbles shows me how to do it.

Why can't I catch wet stuff when it drips out of shiny thing?

Wet stuff tastes nice but is weird...

I Is Maximus Spittimus

I has spoken...

I Eats

I eats

I drinks

I sleeps

There is more?

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I 'as eaten, drank and now I sleeps...

ps...I wouldn't mind but we buy him TOP quality food and the little sod eats Tesco's finest bound for the Cat Palace!!!!!.....Incorrigible. That's what he is.....4D