Wednesday, 3 February 2010

A Message From The Two Legs

I would like to point out that Maximus Spittimus will be allowed out eventually.

Unfortunately he is a sandwich short of a picnic / a match short of a box / a cow short of a herd / a sheep short of a Yorkshireman / Tuppence short of a short...the light's are on and nobody is home.
He is, frankly, one of the most handsome, loveable, amazing cats we've ever had.

We'd like him to stay that way too.

He was born wild. Feral. At least 3rd generation feral...perhaps more than 3rd...

It's quite possible his brother was his father...or at least his uncle... (that being said he doesn't 'meow' in an American deep south accent)...;-)

He has the courage of Maximus (Russell Crowe in Gladiator) - Hence the name.

He spits at anyone and anything that is unknown to him. Hence the name.

Running away is not an option.

He is also 'daft as a brush' - and no, I have no idea what that means but the late (former England Manager) great, Sir Bobby Robson said that about Paul Gascoigne - possibly the greatest footballer England has ever produced - so if it's it's good enough for Sir Bobby it's good enough for Maximus....

He is, in short, unbelievably thick.

Carol, Jacqui and I promise to love and protect him from here on in.

I've a worrying feeling however that we won't be able to protect him from himself.

His 'outdoor' adventures may be something to behold.

Anyroad...we'll do our best by him as we must.

My vodka consumption will undoubtedly increase.

Oh dear......;-)

This coming weekend will be his first time...officially...outdoors.....

...oh eck...

Incidentally...try this link. Maximus Spittimus has transmogriphied into a real person!!!


  1. Oh, the first official outside visit - well, I recommend some sort of tasty beverage for that, possibly containing quite a bit of alcohol. That will be quite an adventure for sure. He is such a cutie though - it must be tough to stay mad at any crazy stuff he pulls. And believe me, I know about crazy stuff from cute cats.

    Seriously, not even a tiny hint of "y'all" in the meow?

  2. Does he have to go outside? He is adorable.

  3. Hope you have a fun, safe adventure Maximus=can't wait to hear all about it!!...purrs...Calle, Halle, Sukki

  4. Good Two Legs, you get a pat on the head

  5. I don't know why but mum is laughing, specially about the southern accent.

    I hopes Max does OK outside. I'd hate to be daft.

  6. Keep us posted on how Maximus does, and PLEASE don't let him run away! (I love "sheep short of a Yorkshireman by the way)

  7. Our Mom is laughing too about the Southern accent and all the phrases... "sheep short of a Yorkshirman"... We don't understand what it all means, but...

    We hope Maximus has a safe and good outdoor adventure!

  8. Mom snorted and laughed about the southern accent as well.And the father\cousin\uncle thing. Why is that?

    My other roommate is spending all her energy on floof and has run through her supply of sense already.

    I am off to contemplate my floofy housemate, as I groom my many Toes. Be safe in the scary wide world....

  9. all my rescues, including the ferals have always become indoor cats
    there's just too much traffic and too many assholes around

    tell him the outside has been closed

    the southern accent comment killed me!!

  10. Oh, dear. Sounds like he would be safer indoors.