Jingley Balls

The Man Two Legs says that 'Jingley Balls' means it is Chrissimussimuss....

The Lady Two Legs says that if he doesn't behave she'll 'Hang his Jingley Balls on the Christmas Tree'.....

Two Legs is so weirdimuss...

Firstly...a strange green thingimuss with sparkly bits has appeared in my house....I seem to recallimuss the same thing happened last year....I has no idea why....it is a Two Legs thing which only goes to prove Two Legs are very strangeimuss...

In the meantime, Gracie Mae The Fruit Bat decided to rip a rug to bits - possibly because she has never seen a green sparkley thing in her new home and, being a Fruit Bat, thought ripping up a rug would show her view on the green sparkly thingimuss....

Purrdy Purr Purr on the other hand, took one look at the green sparkly thingy, rolled over and went back to sleepimuss.....Purrdy is sooooooooo coooool !!!

Bumble aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeeny decided to shut her good eye and ignore these strange goings on...The Bumbles knows the score...she is ABOVE all of this stuff.....

Marie Bug stole my blankie and copied Purrdy in sleeping through it all...er.....MARIE!!!!....YOU STOLE MY BLANKIE???????....Is there no respect left in my world????....MY BLANKIE????

The Stealth Bomber aka Stealthy spent an inordinate amount of time inspecting the rug torn to shreds by Fruit Bat.....I as no idea why but you doesn't ask Stealthy 'why?'....You just accepts Stealthy is Stealthy...at least there wasn't a frog under the rug...for once...;-)

And I, your beloved Emporer Maximus Spittimus, considered going out of the Cat Flap to escape the strange happenings inside my Empire.

Then I thoughts.....'Oh...This is MY empire....I is in chargeimuss!!!'....so I didn't use the Cat Flap.

.....mainly because it is beneath me to use the Cat Flap...The Two Legs must open the door for me...but also because it was rainings and I would have got wetimuss.....

Anyways....

The Green Sparkly thingimuss is here again.....I wonder whether Fruit Bat will try to climb it?.....I bets she does....

Happy Christmasimuss from your Emporer....The Magnificent MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS....

Everybody Is Sleepings

I is sleepings on my Blankimuss

Stealth Bomber (Stealthy) is sleepings on the unmade bedimuss

Bumble...aka The Bumbles...aka Bumbleeeny is sleepings on the armchair cushions

Gracie Mae aka Fruitbat and Purrdy are 'resting' on the leather swivel chair...they will be sleepings shortly..

So where is Marie????????

Marie is outside catching leaves.

Marie loves leaves.

She brings leaves home like Stealthy brings Mouses home.

Marie is daft as a brushimuss.

She is out chasing leaves in the cold and the darkimuss.

The rest of us is sleepings - or nearly sleepings in the warmimuss...

We is sensible.

Marie is daftimuss.

...and why has Purrdy got lazor beam eyes?????.....That is weirdimuss...

I IS THE EMPORER MAXMIUS SPITTIMUS AND I 'AS SPOKENS.

NOW I SLEEPIMUSS...

Sleepings, Peepings And Bumbleeeny

Having survived the 'Night Of Loud Bangs, Whizzes, Fizzes and Crackles I is getting some well earned sleep.

My Generalissimo Stealth Bomber aka Stealthy, after spending a night sitting on my head to protect me is also getting some well earned zzzzzzzz's

Gracie Mae the Fruitbat is still peepings around corners in case anything else goes BANG or FIZZ

...as is Marie who seems to be very tired but too perplexed at all the BANGS and WHIZZIES to go sleepimuss yet...

Tabatha Tab-Tabs, who is an 'outdoor girl' is still missings after two daysimuss...I is worried...The Man Two Legs has gone out and called her....as yet to no avail. Still, Tabatha Tab-Tabs is an outdoor independent lady...so she will come home when she feels it is safe to emerge and she is hungrymuss enough...I hopes..

Purrdy is still under the Little Two Legs bed...she is in shockimuss at all the noiseimuss!!!

But The Bumble?

The Bumble aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeeny is incredibly unperturbed by all those BANGS and CRACKS...She is The Thatcher of the feline world!!! She is my IRON LADY!!!!

Now pose for the camera Bumbles...my Iron Lady!....Let my Centurions see how magnificent and brave you are!!!! - only because of my influence....obviously....Bumble obeys my every command!!!

Now...pose again Bumble....

....er.....Bumble?....er.....Bumbleeeny?.....Obey me!....er.....um....please?......Pleaseimuss?

Oh to hell with it!......Women!!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS (WRIGGLY KITTY) and I 'as spokens.....er...and Bumbles 'as left the building.....

BANG!!! CRACK!!!! FIZZLE!!!! BANG!!!!

It is noiseimuss....Two Legs say it is Diwali. They says it is aliens - we is being invaded???

I hates it. Stealthy hates it. The Bumbles hates it. Tabatha Tab Tabs hates it. Marie hates it. Purrdy hates it. The Two Legs hate it.

They says we is moving somewhere that is England.

I as no idea what they means but if it means less BANGS then I likes it.

They is noiseimuss. Man Two Legs says they is aliens.

I not know what aliens is but they is noiseimuss so we doesn't likes thems.

I will scratch thems.....when I finds out what 'thems' is....

I is MAXIMUS and hates the noises....

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat, Where Have You Been?...

There IS a GOD....So there....

The Man Two Legs is very busyimuss and hasn't the time to postimuss so he has done this postimuss for moi.

I, Maximus Spittimus, acknowledges the Man Two Legs willingness to postimuss when he is knackered because he loves me...

And what is there not to love??????

I is THE EMPORER MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS (WRIGGLY KITTY) and I 'as spokens... 

Marie Marie Oh With Your Eyes So Blue....

...er...oh...erm...yes...that was Blondie's 'Denis'...well never mind...Marie's eyes aren't blue but so whatimuss???

Marie seems to have taken a liking to following me around thereby clearly stating that she is a Kittie of enormously good taste.

I didn't even know she was there....copying my window ledge window ledging...

Then I realised she was thereimuss...

Marie is tailing her way into my Leading Centurionesses....and you has to admit...it is quite a tail!!!!

And those eyes!!!.....I melts into those eyes...

I is THE EMPORER MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS (WRIGGLY KITTY) and I thinks I is in loveimuss....

I 'as spokens...

The Beeatch!!!

Tabatha (Tab-Tabs) is otherwise known as 'The Beeatch'.....purely because she is indeed a 'Beeatch'.

She is also gorgeous and is clearly a 'MAJOR' Centurioness....NOBODY messes with Tabatha (Tab-Tabs)...Not even The Two Legs...

You mess with Tabatha (Tab-Tabs) and you WILL lose the sight in one eye or get deep gouges on your body.....and that's if you're lucky....

The Little Two Legs is terrified of Tabatha (Tab-Tabs)

The Man Two Legs loves her and cuddles her and calls her Tab-Tabs.

He is nuts.

She is nuts.

Still......she IS a Centurioness - and the toughest maddest Centurioness ever in The Maximus Spittimus Empire.

Marie, below in the pic, is Tabatha (Tab-Tabs) daughter and she is, in looks, a perfect 'Mini-Me'...except Marie doesn't attempt to disembowel anyone who touches her....

The Man Two Legs loves her and cuddles her....All other Two Legs avoid her...

Me?

I just think....'I'll keep this babe on MY side'

I is wiseimuss.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS (WRIGGLY KITTY) and I 'as spokens...