Friday, 29 April 2011

The Garden Of Maximus Spittimus

I loves my garden I does.

It is changing though. The Man Two Legs has found someone in need of work and, as the Man Two Legs is apt to do, he has 'taken him under his wing' (as the Lady Two Legs says)....Man Two legs has wings??? He is birdie???....I may eat him!!!!

There is things going on in my garden.....strange things.....this man emptied the top pond and put the fishies in the bottom pondimuss....I is alright with that....I can chase them in the bottom pondimuss....but why?

I is sitting on the 'water feature' cause it isn't.....watering that garden is changing and I don't know if I likes it yet....The Man Two Legs says 'It will be fine me I'm from Oldham'...

He might be from Oldham...wherever that is...but he's daftimuss as a brushimuss you know....

The Stealth Bomber...Head Centurion perplexed. Perplexed I say!.....He has been decimating the wildlife in MY garden ever since he strayed in here two years ago....Now the fishies are in a deeper pond he can't reach them.....the frogs are sticking their tongues out at him (assuming frogs have tongues)....My garden is changing!!!

Lots of trees are gone now....not the one with the Magpies nest in it, so I can still climb up and try to steal their eggs - except Magpies have no respect for your Emporer...they hisses and screeches and trys to peck my eyes....I WILL get their eggs one day!!!!!

In the meantime I will sit on the water feature until it starts to water again and watch this strange man chop up trees and make MY garden bigger.

I don't knows.....It feels very oddimuss.....The sun shines on me more than it did - which is goodimuss - but there are fewer places to hide and seek with Stealthy.....

Still....The Great Sage Scampi and The Queen Bumble seem to like more light in MY garden so I suppose I will have to allow these changes....

I am MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is sitting on a water feature until it spurts again...

I 'as spokens....


  1. Keep a sharp eye out, would be funny, erm, TERRIBLE if you got wet whilst watching!

  2. Hail Emperor Maximus Spittimus! Me and Charlie your most loyal centurions, are most impressed with your Two Legs!! He is WORKING! LOL!!!

    We are being humourous at his expense!

    Anyway!! We hope to see progress very soon with this magical garden and pond or else we will muster your centurion army and march all the way to oldham to give him a good prod! LOL!

    Take care

  3. Excellent work Maximus! I can tell you are right on top of all that you rule!

    Nubbin wiggles,

  4. Wow, you have grown so and have such great presence, oh Maximus! You are definitely sitting the heck out of that water feature.

  5. have fun M.S.
    why did yer two legs lock up all his blogs?

  6. Hiya Max....and greetings from the black kat gang here in wildest Sussex (Spook and Ratchet)

    Can you tell us why we can't read the two legses blogimuss?

  7. It sounds busy at your house. Have fun snoopervising.