Saturday, 25 August 2012

Wide Eyed And Legless

Good Evening. I am The Stealth Bomber, known to my friends as Stealthy.

I am The Senior Centurion in The Maximus Spittimus Empire.

I am also Generalissimo Of The MSSP (Maximus Spittimus Secret Police)

I have to report a worrying development.

My Emporer returned home from reconnoi....reccono....inspecting his empire the other day and appeared to be...erm.. 'not himself'.

Eyes wide, pupils dilated, bunny hopping sideways, tongue sticking out further than is normal for my Emporer.

I considered the possibility that he had discovered a discarded Two Legs LSD tablet and was merely stoned out of his skull, but on closer inspection it became apparent that he was TERRIFIED.

No cat, dog, fox, grass snake, frog, toad, pigeon, magpie, rat, pond fish, sparrow, fly, wasp, bee, centipede, millepede, ant.....I believe that is the entire list of creatures that occasionally disturb my Emporers psyche....oh yes, snail, slug, spider, mouse...will be safe until I discover which creature left my Emporer bunny hopping....sideways

Any suggestion that my Emporer is, in reality, a 'wuss' will suffer the gravest consequences. They will be visited in the dead of night by The MSSP.

You have been warned.

I will not rest until my Emporer desists from bunny least until he stops doing it sideways...




  1. Oh my gosh! Will Maximus be okay??

  2. Maximus is absolutely fine - if still a wee bit 'jumpy'. There have been several 'cat napping' cases in our area of late and, as he's a beautiful Ginger boy he is a prime target for such things.

    Most 'cat napping' is related to 'dog baiting' around here....we seem to have an inordinate number of 'Pikey's'....America call them 'Gypsies'. They train their Pit Bulls etc to attack cats and then place bets on the winner.

    We strongly suspect a human tried to 'grab' Maximus and didn't manage it.

    The 'humour' of the in 'is he a wuss' is merely humour. If you don't laugh you'd cry at humanity eh?

    I think we almost lost him to these creatures....but he was better than them and hopefully stuck his claws in their eyes.

    He's still a wee bit jumpy but he is fine now.

    He's home again.

    Four Dinners
    Aide de Camp
    Maximus Spittimus
    Emporer of all that is and will be.

  3. Oh no! I am so sorry to read about such things going on! Catnapping for dog baiting? :-( That's just obscene for the animals. I am so sorry. Hugs to Maximus - poor kitty. :-(

    Take care

  4. There are evil people everywhere, aren't there? Maybe one day the pit bulls will turn on the people who make them do such things...

  5. Unfortunately, Bellen, I'm afraid that even if the pitties did it to the most evil among us, the dogs would be the ones to suffer, not the asshats who abused them.

  6. We arе a grouρ оf volunteers
    and staгting a new schеmе іn our cοmmunіty.
    Yοur wеbѕite proviԁеd us with νaluable infoгmation to work on.
    You've done a formidable job and our whole community will be thankful to you.

    my web site ... personal loans
    my website - personal loans

  7. I nеeded to thаnk you for thіѕ good read!
    ! I defіnіtely еnϳoyeԁ every lіttle
    bit of it. I've got you saved as a favorite to check out new things you post…

    Check out my page ... payday loans

  8. Hi it's me, I am also visiting this web site regularly, this site is actually pleasant and the visitors are genuinely sharing fastidious thoughts.

    Here is my website: payday loans no credit check

  9. Thank you for thе аuѕpіcious wгiteup.
    It in fact was а amusement account іt.
    Looκ advancеd tо more аdded agreeable frοm уou!
    Вy the way, how could we communіcаte?

    Visit my webpagе; payday loan

  10. Unquestionably consider that thаt yοu said.
    Үour favourite reason seemеd to bе at thе іnteгnеt the easіеst factor tο have in
    mind of. I say to you, I definitely get annoуed while other folκs
    сοnsidеr issues thаt they plaіnly ԁo not realize about.
    You mаnaged to hit the nаil upon the tоp anԁ
    also outlinеd out the entire thing without having
    side-effeсts , other people сould take a signal.
    Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

    Here is my weblog ... Same Day Payday Loans

  11. Wonderful ωeb site. Plenty of hеlpful info here.
    I am senԁing it to ѕeνeгаl
    buddies ans aԁԁitionally shаring in deliсiouѕ.
    And obviously, thanκ you on your еffort!

    my web blog ... New Bingo Sites