I IS MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS

Noushka Nu Nu What??????

2012-01-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

Nu Nu is....I am led to believe...staying in the realm of Maximus (Wriggly Kitty) Spittimus.

This is coolimuss. This is fineimuss.

Providing she behavesimuss!!!

She won't you know....the Two legs knows it....The Bumbles knows it....I knows it.

Still...if we don't give her a home then who will???

Bumble aka The Bumble is cool with it...she bopped Nu Nu on the head and Nu Nu knew her placeimuss..

The Stealth Bomber touched noses so I thought it was fineimuss...

Then? Since? He runs away from her and she chases him...

Stealthy runs away?????

He really is daft as a brushimuss!!!!

Stealthy?....Sort it out Centurion Stealth Bomber.....

Sort it out!

She is Noushka Nu Nu...the latest Centurioness in The Maximus (Wriggly Kitty) Spittimus Army

I is Maximus (Wriggly Kitty) Spittimus....

...and I has spokens

Noushka The Complete Bitchimuss Catimuss

2012-01-09T15:48:00.000-08:00

Man Two Legs likes Noushka...aka...Nu-Nu,which merely confirms that Man Two Legs is insane,

Nu-Nu is not all there....Nu-Nu is twopence short of a shilling...she is a sandwich short of a picnic....

Nu-Nu is just weird!...She follows me abouts like I is a God!!!....er....Nu-Nu is clearly not as daft as she looks...

Noushka aka Nu-Nu spent many days sussing out the cat flap......Yes Nu-Nu...you push it with your headimuss...silly girl...

I is teachings her to use the cat flap....I is slightly worried that if I has to teach Nu-Nu she is clearly as daftinuss as I thinks she is!!!!

I thinks I might get to like Nu-Nu...she is so daftimuss she is like a female version of meimuss!!!

The home of Maximus Wriggly Kitty Spittimus is currently in fluximuss.....

I 'as spokens.

I is Maximus Wriggly Kitty Spittimus....

...and I is THE WORD!

A Happy Maximus New Year!!!

2012-01-02T12:25:00.000-08:00

I as not posted for a bit cause I as been sniffings........

A new cat is here. She is called Noushka. She is not a cat, she is a cow. I as batted her ears. I will not have any pics of Nu-Nu, as the Two Legs call her, until she learns to behave.

Chrissimuss was cool! I got to eat lots of Turkey and sausage meat and ham and pork and anything elses that the Two legs gave me.....except brussel sprouts...they is 'orribleimuss!!!

I got presentimusses!!! I got Catnip mouses and toys to tear to bits!!!! Bumble and Stealth Bomber got presentimusses too cause they are loyal to Maximus...

Nu-Nu got a big cage to live in cause she won't behave...she will learn that this is Maximus land and she must behave!!!!

(Actually Noushka was rescued by daughter Jacqui. She's 18 months old and has had no socialisation with either cats or people - as my scars would show - we are trying to integrate her into our home. If we fail she will be rehomed to a 'one cat' household. I'll let you know how it goes. A gorgeous looking completely neurotic Torty nicknamed 'Psycho Kitty by me)....4D aka Man Two Legs aka Aide de Camp to Maximus Spittimus...

Be quiet Two Legs...this is my blog!!!

I had to sleeps off all the Turkey and sausage meat and ham an pork on my blanky....

The Bumbles let me sleeps with her on her chair again...Nobody but Maximus Spittimus gets to sleeps on The Bumbles chair!!!

I needed more sleeps with Stealthy too as I had eaten so much Turkey and stuffing and I was stuffings!!!!

I is MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS

.....and I wishes my Centurion kitties and rabbits and doggies a Happy New Year with lots of mouses to chase and lots of trees to climb and lots of nice places to go sniffings....

I HAS SPOKENS!

Wriggleimuss Me!!!

2011-11-22T12:10:00.000-08:00

I is now known as Wriggly Kitty.....Maximus Wriggly Kitty Spittimus.

I is prepared to allow this addition to the name of your most magnificent Maximus as I admit I wriggles a lot.

I do not sound like a seagull though! Disgraceimuss!!! Man Two legs says I sound like a seagull from 'Finding Nemo' when I is fed.

I DO NOT say 'Mine! Mine! Mine!'......I says 'Gets off it is The Magnificent Maximus's food!'....if Two Legs think it sounds like 'Mine! Mine!' then he is more idiotimuss than even I thought!

...after eatings I settles down for a snooze with The Bumbles who lets me use her chair cause she loves Maximus!!!!

The Stealth Bomber stretches out in the hallway as he can't fit on Bumble's chair - and Bumble would bop him if he tried!

I AM THE MAGNIFICENT MAXIMUS WRIGGLY KITTY SPITTIMUS and I is speakings again.....

...idiotimuss Two Legs....keeping me silentimuss......

Piccimusses Followimuss

2011-11-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

Rightimuss!!!

I is back and idiotimuss Two Legs is taking piccimusses of me - and The Bumble and Stealth Bomber.

The next post will be me back to normality......

I as much to say!!!!!

Two Legs Is An Idiotimuss!!!!

2011-11-19T10:42:00.000-08:00

Two Legs thought the computer tower was brokened....it wasn't

Two Legs got another computer tower and installed it.

Two Legs had all his passwords on old tower and couldn't remember them.

Maximus couldn't blog because Two Legs is an IDIOTIMUSS!!!!!!!

Now Two Legs has plugged in old tower and got passwords back Maximus can blog again.

Now he is plugging new tower back inimuss.

"Er...Two Legs?"

"Yes Maximus?"

"Have you wrtten downimuss all those passwords?"

"Oh!...Oh yeah!...Good idea Maximus!"

"................................IDIOTIIMUSS..................."

SCAMPI THE WISE AND VENERABLE IS IN A BETTER PLACE

2011-08-16T12:55:00.000-07:00

Man Two Legs came downstairs this morning. Scampi had been a bit wobblymuss lately. I think we all knew he was nearing the end.

Still, 22 years is a good age for a cat! He had been sleeping on an armchair for two weeks and Scampi never slept in any chair.....he slept outside in all weathers and only came in when he was sickimuss - and even then the Two Legs had to wear thick gloves to take him to the Vets!!!!

The Two Legs put a blanky in the kitchen near the cat flap so he could run out when he wanted. Scampi slept on his blankymuss. He stopped running out of the cat flap.

He was lying on his blanky in the kitchen. When man Two Legs walked in to put the kettle on - what is kettle? - Scampi meowed.

Man Two Legs picked him up - that was when I knew. NOBODY. NOBODY ever picked up Scampi.

Man Two Legs carried him to water bowlimuss and tried to get him to drink. He meowed again and Man Two Legs put him back on his blanky.

His will was still there but his old body was letting him down.

Man Two Legs called Lady Two Legs and Little Two Legs and they stroked him and kissed him and he went. Just like that.

Seconds before he went he did something oddimuss.

When his sister, Tiddler, was here he used to put his right paw on her head.

He raised his right paw and held it in mid-air for a while......then he went.

My Scampi has gone.

I am bereft....I am inconsolableimuss....I am hungry....

Feed me!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has lost my Scampi....now FEED ME!!!!

Bye old friend...sleep tight...Fourdinners, Caz and Jax xxxxxx

I Is Here!!! So Two Legs CAN find The Timeimuss???

2011-08-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

Two Legs?.....phtttt!!!

He is lazimuss....

I IS HERE. HE doesn't even knows I is....Little Two Legs has come home from Madagascar and she hugs me and kisses me. SHE knows I is HERE and she has been in Madagascar!!!!

We is waiting to be fed and man Two legs is getting all huffimuss...."We is due at the airport" he says....AND???

He wants to go to airport (what is airport????) before he feeds us????

SACRILEGE!!!!!!!!!

I will be takings controlimuss of this house again. I has been too softimuss. I has let Two Legs get untrained.

I has made mistake. I has been too kindimuss. Maximus will regain total controlimuss.

Two Legs is warnedimuss!!!!

The Bumbles has told me.....The Two Legs is good and will feedimuss all of us but WE must remind them WE is in charge.

They will be reminded.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMU8S and I has spokens.

My Centurion Guards

2011-07-15T04:26:00.000-07:00

The Stealth Bomber is not known as The Stealth Bomber for nothings....

He catch Mousey and brings it back for me to play with. It is my very own pet mousey!!!

He carries it gently along the top of the fence so I can admire my Chief Centurians grace and loyalty to the Emporer Maximus Spittimus.

Then he puts my new mousey down so I cans play with it....BUT!!! Man Two Legs rescues Mousey and frees it!!!! MY MOUSEY!!!! Brought to his Emporer by Stealthey!!! I chases it around and around before Man Two Legs can catch it so I does have some funnimuss.

Bumble (aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeny) explains to me that Two Legs have always rescued mouseys and frogses and anything that she used to bring home. They do??? Two Legs is very weirdimuss!!!

My wise and venerable Scampi sets up an observation post to tell me if my mousey comes back to play with me again....although strangely, Scampi seems to think it unlikely. Unlikely? Doesn't my mousey understand how honoured he would be to let The Emporer Maximus Spittimus play with him. I would only nibble his head a little bit!!!

All this cahsing mousey and trying to understand silly Two Legs has made me tiredimuss. I sleeps now.

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, EMPORER OF YOU ALL AND I HAS SPOKENS.

They Is Back

2011-07-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

Now I knows I hads Scampi (The Venerable and Wise), Bumble (aka The Bumbles aka Bumbleeny) and, of course, Stealthy (aka The Stealth Bomber) for company but.....

BUT

Otherwise I was aloneimuss!!!!

I was left aloneimuss!!!!!

They shall pay the price.

I shall bite toes and scratch delicate bits when they is asleepimuss.

The wrath of Maximus Spittimus will know no bounds.

Well.....

...I will waitimuss until the Little Two Legs is back from Madagascarimuss.

Then they will not expect it.

I is going to have fun.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is waiting...I is biding my timeimuss.

I will be UNLEASHED!!!!!

I IS WILDIMUSS!!!!

I WILL NEVER BE LEFT ALONEIMUSS AGAIN!!!!

er.....can I have some foodimuss?....

Aloneinmuss!!!!

2011-07-07T15:59:00.000-07:00

Little Two Legs is in somewhere called Madagascar....Man Two Legs is off to somewhere called Sunderland..... Lady Two Legs is working.....

They is leaving me alone!!!!!

ME!!!!!

The Emporer Maximus Spittimus!!!!!....The Emporer Wriggly Kitty!!!!

ALONE!!!!!

ALONEIMUSS!!!!!!

Disgraceful behaviour....

I may never forgiveimuss them.

Unless I gets special treats when they is not in Madagascar or Sunderland or workings.

Why is Two Legs so nutsimuss?????

How can they leave ME??????

Mad as hatters all of them....

MAD!!!!

Seedimuss

2011-07-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

Every time I comes into the house I is grabbed!!!!!

"He is full of seeds!" says Two Legs.

'Seeds' is, as far I understandimuss, little round sticky things in my furrimuss.

I is caught and held and Two Legs picks at me.

They really has no ideaimuss has they?

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is their...and everyone's Emporer!!!!

You do not picks up MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and removes seeds from HIS coat unless HE wants seeds removed from HIS coat!!!!!!

er...what are seedimusses?

Miracles

2011-06-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Miracles work....and sometimes they doesn't.

That's miracles for you....

I is a miracle cause I IS.

Sometimes kitties can't be miracles.

Miracle II diedimuss tonight.

Princess is meowing a lot. She is distressedimuss. She has lost her kitties.

It was not Princesses' fault.

Sometimes Miracles aren't meant to be.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I knows.

I is sad.

Tomorrow is another day.

No I Don't Believe In Miracles.....But I Almost Did....

2011-06-15T15:32:00.000-07:00

As the Aide de Camp to Maximus Spittimus, I can only apoligise for the laxadasical posting....There has been much occupying me apart from The Emporer Maximus Spittimus....

I suspect he is not entirely happy with this temporary condition....I sense my toes may suffer the consequences of HIS indignation.

My wife and I (bloody hell...I sound like the Queen...'My husband and I'...) are in a British Charity called 'Cats Protection '.......We look after stray cats that are homeless and unwanted. We have a 'Cat Palace' at the bottom of the garden. It is heated and, frankly, if the wifey ever has the sense to throw me out I will move in there. I may decline to eat cat food but I will be warm and dry......;-)

Two 'new arrivals' were...and are...mother and son.

The female was pregnant. We had no idea she was pregnant. She certainly didn't look pregnant and she didn't eat like she was pregnant. We aren't psychic. She was pregnant and we didn't know.

Princess - as we have since called her - gave birth over night.

In the morning we found 2 still born kittens and an extremely distressed kitten no more than 5 or 6 hours old who she was clearly rejecting.

'Miracle' was promptly removed from the 'scene' and spent the night wrapped in a tea towel with disposable rubber gloves filled with warm water and stuffed down the wifey's bra.

Cinicat...a milk substitute...was fed to him via a small syringe.

Miracle survived the night via the wifey denying herself sleep and feeding him every hour on the hour.

The following day he was transferred to a lactating Queen with three 10 day old kittens at a Veterinary surgery in London.

After convincing two of her kittens to 'pee' on a bit of cotton wool and then wiping Miracle with said pee soaked cotton wool, the lactating female immediately washed him and drew him in to suckle.

Miracle suckled.

There was a chance. A slim chance but the 'adoptive' mother was 'up for it'.

When a rejected kitten is rejected in 99% of cases it will die. Even if it's had the joy of being in my wife's bra....

'Miracle' survived another night. The 'adoptive' mother was supurb!!! She drew Miracle in and he was hers.

His strength wasn't enough. He couldn't suckle enough.

Miracle died at 7:02 p.m. on 15th June 2011.

We tried so hard Miracle....Honest we did.....

After dropping off 'Miracle' in London the wifey went to sleep.....

That evening we went to the 'Cat Palace' to feed the strays......We opened Princesse's pen and.....

...another kitten.....she'd given birth over 8 hours after 'Miracle'!!!...and....she hadn't rejected this baby.

You didn't make it 'Miracle'.....I'm so so sorry baby...we tried so hard.....

The adoptive Queen was magnificent!...She took you as her own but it wasn't enough.....

For what it's worth...if your baby sister makes it she will be called 'Miracle' too.....

...She is you.

Sleep tight Miracle.

Our tears are warm for you....and our joy if your baby sister makes it will be tears of joy.....

Pleae let her make it......PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

Four Dinners
Aide de Camp
Maximus Spittimus

Purrfect

2011-06-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

This is me....lookiing forward to my currymuss!!!

The little Two Legs is home with her little man Two Legs.

My Two Legses are here.

They is having a currymuss tonight. I likes currymuss. I eats Chicken Vindaloo.

I then drinks a lot of water and, even better, I farts in the night.

As I sleeps near lady Two Legs face this is fun.

I is off to eats my currymuss.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens......later I will have farted...;-)

I IS Therefore I IS

2011-06-01T16:07:00.000-07:00

I is and will always be.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I will always be Maximus Spittimus.

There is a question?

I IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE.....MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS....

Just to reminds you as The Two Legs is busy and hasn't the times to postimuss....

You is my Centurions so stay faithful or the wrath of Maximus may come downs on youimuss!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens...

Scampi The Wise And Venerable

2011-05-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

Scampi survives. I has no idea how he survives but he does. He is nearly 22 years oldimuss.

He is happy and he sleeps and eats and enjoys the Maximus Spittimus Garden in the sun.

I loves my Scampi and am so so happy he is still here with ME.

I just wanted you to knowimuss.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

Wriggly Kitty and The Magenpie

2011-05-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

The Two Legs are calling me 'Wriggly Kitty'!!!!

WRIGGLY KITTY???????

I????? MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS?????? EMPORER OF EVERYTHING I SURVEY AND EVERYTHING I HAVEN'T YET SURVEYED?????

WRIGGLY KITTY????????

I knows I wriggles when they pick me up but that is because picking up The Emporer of The Universe is WRONG!!!! - er - unless I wants to be picked up.....

I saw a Magenpie.

I saw two Magenpie's.

They screeched and swooped above my headimuss.

Magenpie's are birdies. I know this 'cause they flyimuss and Magenpie's flyimuss.

Birdies run from me. Everything I don't like or wants to eat runs from me.

Magenpie's don't.

They screechimuss and swoopimuss.

CENTURIANS EN GUARD!!!!

WE IS AT WARIMUSS WITH MAGENPIE'S!!!!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens....

Maximus Is Busymuss

2011-05-10T15:04:00.000-07:00

My Glorious Centurions,

I, Maximus Spittimus, Emporer Of The Universe, Lord Of All I Survey and any bits that I don't, has been very busymuss.

I is directing operations on my garden. The pond that has fishies must be accessable so I can catch fishies.

As MY garden takes shapeimuss I may only post irregularly....

You must be patient my Centurions...MY garden has to be just right...

...for MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS

The Garden Of Maximus Spittimus

2011-04-29T12:06:00.000-07:00

I loves my garden I does.

It is changing though. The Man Two Legs has found someone in need of work and, as the Man Two Legs is apt to do, he has 'taken him under his wing' (as the Lady Two Legs says)....Man Two legs has wings??? He is birdie???....I may eat him!!!!

There is things going on in my garden.....strange things.....this man emptied the top pond and put the fishies in the bottom pondimuss....I is alright with that....I can chase them in the bottom pondimuss....but why?

I is sitting on the 'water feature' cause it isn't.....watering that is....my garden is changing and I don't know if I likes it yet....The Man Two Legs says 'It will be fine Maximus....trust me I'm from Oldham'...

He might be from Oldham...wherever that is...but he's daftimuss as a brushimuss you know....

The Stealth Bomber...Head Centurion Extraordinaire...is perplexed. Perplexed I say!.....He has been decimating the wildlife in MY garden ever since he strayed in here two years ago....Now the fishies are in a deeper pond he can't reach them.....the frogs are sticking their tongues out at him (assuming frogs have tongues)....My garden is changing!!!

Lots of trees are gone now....not the one with the Magpies nest in it, so I can still climb up and try to steal their eggs - except Magpies have no respect for your Emporer...they hisses and screeches and trys to peck my eyes....I WILL get their eggs one day!!!!!

In the meantime I will sit on the water feature until it starts to water again and watch this strange man chop up trees and make MY garden bigger.

I don't knows.....It feels very oddimuss.....The sun shines on me more than it did - which is goodimuss - but there are fewer places to hide and seek with Stealthy.....

Still....The Great Sage Scampi and The Queen Bumble seem to like more light in MY garden so I suppose I will have to allow these changes....

I am MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is sitting on a water feature until it spurts again...

I 'as spokens....

The Emporer Of The Universe, The Lord Of All That Is...I'd better carry on this in the post...

2011-04-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

...The One And Only Maximus Spittimus, Grand Centurion Leader, Duke Of Catdom, Governer Of Dogdom (at least those dogs who are wisely on my side), Cat God Of All That Is And All That Will Be (if I let it be which mainly depends on how much food is involved in giving my permission for it to be), Chief Bunny (I have to say that as I have Bunny Centurions and need to keep them 'onside'), Most Worthy And Glorious Ruler Of You All...

...has one thing to say. Think before you writimuss!!!

SCAMPI is a BOY. Scampi is not a GIRL. Scampi may be on the way out in the not too distant futureimuss but PLEASE!...Respectimuss!!! Scampi is MY advisor and he is not a girlimuss!!!

...Actually...

SCAMPI is so incensed by the 'she' comments you have added weeks or months onto his lifeimuss!!!

By Order Of His Excellency Maximus Spittimus you must continue to refer to SCAMPI as a girlimuss...it is making him angrymuss and he is getting stronger!!!!

I has spokens.

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS...Emporer Of The Universe and all that other stuff I just saidimuss.....

SCAMPI

2011-04-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

My Scampi is now 22 years old.

That, according to The Two Legs, is a good age for a cat.

As I am only 2 years old....or thereabouts...I will concur with The Two Legs....

Scampi is my oldest and wisest advisor. Scampi knows.

SCAMPI KNOWS.

He is not long for our world...not long for MY world. Scampi is very oldimuss. Few cats make it to 22.

Scampi has.

Scampi is my friend. Scampi is my reason. Without Scampi I am not the Maximus I am whilst Scampi is here.

I is frightenedimuss.....MY Scampi is leaving me.

Day by day he is leaving me!!!!

I will never forget you Scampi.

You will live on in my heart.

You will live on in my Two Legs hearts.

2011 is the year I will lose my Scampi........

I knows this.

Nite nite my Scampi....

Nite nite.....

A Goose??? A Goose???

2011-04-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

The Two Legs is back - and about time too. Leaving me on my ownsimuss indeed!

The Stealth Bomber vanished for five days, Bumble hid in the wardrobe and Scampi crapped in the bedroom - I loves Scampi!!!!

The Little Two Legs and her pet...another man Two Legs...came to stay. That was coolimuss but, they brought another 4 Two Legses that we didn't even knowimuss!!!

'Strangers!' meowed Stealthy and wasn't seen again until he heard our Two Legs voices when they came back.

Little Two Legs fed us and watered us and cuddled me so...just to show who is really in charge I went off my foodimuss - I didn't really, I just wanted everyone to feel guilty!!! (I ate biccies at night when nobody was looking - don't tell them)

Lady Two Legs is still laughings 'cause Man Two Legs was chased by a Goose. It looks like a big fat pigeon to me.

Lady Two Legs say Man Two Legs tried to walk away when the Goose charged but it wouldn't acceptimuss 'walking'. It kept charging Man Two Legs until he started runnings!!!

I is going along next time. I must see Goose chasing Man Two Legs!!!!.....I will ask it to join my Centurion Army. In fact...I will makes it honorararary member now I shall.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and likes Gooses!

All By Myself!!!

2011-03-24T15:04:00.000-07:00

Well...I will not be entirely by my selfimuss....Stealthy, Bumble and old Scampi will be here - as will the Little Two Legs for three of the five days so I will be fed and watered I suppose...

The Two Legs are going away!!! They are leaving me!!!! For 5 whole days!!!!

"We are going to The New Forest for our 25th wedding anniversary...back to our honeymoon hotel" they says.

New Forest?...How can a forest be newimuss??? Even I knows it takes years for trees to grow!!! Forests can't be new!!!

25th what???....What is wedding anniversary???....What is wedding????...they are mad I tell you!!! Mad!!!

Honeymoon????...The moon isn't honey!!! Honey is for Beesimusses!!!! The moon is up in the sky!!! My Two Legs are going up in the sky????

I is alarmed. I is even alarmedimuss!!!!

I has learned to work the computey myselfimuss so I can postimuss....no use hoping The Two Legs do it...they'll be up in the sky with Bees and honey and the moonimuss!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has two very crazy Two Legs to get back into line!!!!

The moon indeed!!!...Mad as hatters both of them!!!

Scampi And The Bumbles Is Sleepings

2011-03-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

The old and venerable Scampi is sleepings...he does this a lot...he is 21 years old and that is very oldimuss for a cat. He advises Your Emporer and tells me when I is being silly or unreasonable...not that I is ever silly or unreasonable of courseimuss...How can I be?...I is the Centre Of Everything!

The Bumbles...aka Bumble....aka Bumble-eeny is sleepings too...Bumble is a lady I adore...but I doesn't understandimuss.

She hits me around the head....How can anyones hit me??? I is Maximus Spittimus!!!! The Emporer of The World!!! The Bumbles is keeping me in my placeimuss says The Two Legs...

My placeimuss is Ruler Of The Universe!!!...I doesn't needs keepings in my place!! I is already in my place!!!

I loves The Bumbles but I is confused...I is hit around the headimuss when I tries to eats The Bumbles foodimuss.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I rules the Universe - as long as The Bumbles says so.....

The Maximus Sleepy Place

2011-03-05T14:18:00.000-08:00

I is sleepings. I is not always sleeping on my blankie. Sometimes I is sleeping on what Two Legs calls a Piano Stool.

I as no idea what a piano or a piano stool is but I sleeps on it...the piano stool that is....Two Legs says piano goes 'plunk plink plunketty plunk'

My stool doesn't go 'plunk plink plunketty plunk' so I knows it is a piano stool and not a piano.

My piano stool is near somethings called a radiator...it is warmimuss so I likes it. The Two Legs put clothes around my piano stool so I knows it is warmimuss and I is sleepings there when I don't want my blankimuss.

There is window near my piano stool so I can see birdies and things when I looks out if I decide to stop sleepings.

My blankimuss is THE MAXIMUS BLANKIMUS....My piano stool is THE MAXIMUS PIANO STOOL.

It is MINE.

I 'as spokens and I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS.

MAXIMUS Maximus

2011-02-25T11:20:00.000-08:00

Is not!!!!

I refutes this insult to my magnificent personage!!!!

I is not getting FAT!!!!!!

I is pleasantly rotundimuss!!!!

Damn cheek these Two Legs have!!!!!

Disgraceful behaviour!!!!!

My claws await their toes as they is sleepings!!!!

Is just big boned and my fur is big too!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is insulted!!!!

SPARTA!!!

2011-02-19T12:57:00.000-08:00

You is MY MAIN CENTURION by default!!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and SPARTA is the BUSIMUSS!!!!

All Is Wellimus In The World Of Maximus Spittimus

2011-02-14T11:48:00.000-08:00

I is good....actually...I is greatimuss!!!

Bumble is well again,

Scampi is Scampi

and The Stealth Bomber continues to stealthily bomb any living creature that invades MY garden.

The Maximus Spittimus Universe is good.

The Two Legs universe is a bit chaotic so he can't post a lot for a bittimuss.

Well...that's what he thinks....carefully directed claws in delicate places will ensue and MAXIMUS WILL NOT BE DENIED!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens to my loyal Centurions (and other lesser creatures)

(If you would honour me by becoming a MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS CENTURION then e-mail your picture and details to fourdinners@aol.com....but make it quickimuss...AOL are toast in the Maximus household and will shortly be replaced by Orange).

So there.

Maximus Blankimuss

2011-02-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

This is my blankimuss. I has had it since I was first here. It is from my blankimuss that I surveys my universe.

Without blankimuss Maximus would not be Maximus. It is mine...mine...mine...and nobody can lay on blankimuss but me.

I is sniffings it every night to make sure nobody else has been near it.

My blankimuss is my favourite thing.

As long as there is blankimuss there is Maximus Spittimus and as long as there is Maximus Spittimus there is blankimuss.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

The Bumbles According To Maximus Spittimus

2011-01-31T12:54:00.000-08:00

Two Legs are happymuss.

I is happymuss.

The Bumbles is Hyperthyroidal.

I has no idea what that means but The Bumbles will take pills according to The Two Legs and will be fine.

The Bumbles will be fine.

The Two Legs have said so.

More importantly of course, I has said so!

The Bumbles will be fine.

I, The Emporer of Everything, thanks you for your purrs and hugs and bestist wishes for The Bumbles.

My Bumble will carry on being here to teach me the ways of catdom so I can be a great Emporer for all cats - and doggies and rabbits and squirrels and meerkats and other things.....

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens....I is happymuss as well...

I thankimuss you all!!!!

The Crown Jewels

2011-01-28T13:45:00.000-08:00

Bumble...aka The Bumbles...is 'The Crown Jewels'.

Bumble is 'The Little Two Legs' cat.

She always has been and always will be.

Bumble arrived at the Two Legs abode when she was a small kitten. About 8 weeks old.

Her left eye was lost already to 'Cat Flu' and was removed by the vet.

Bumble spent several days in the arms of the Little Two Legs and made a purring sound reminiscent of a Bumble Bee - she was, henceforth, christened 'BUMBLE'.

Bumble is now 13 years old and her health is suffering. She has always been a small cat, but....she has gone from 2.9 Kilos to 2.6 Kilos in 3 months and there aren't a lot of Kilo's to lose.....

There is a problem.

Blood tests have ensued and we await the results.

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS requests that his Glorious Centurions keep their paws crossed for Bumble.

It is a time of concern for Maximus. Bumble (The Bumbles) has been his teacher in the fine etiquette of 'cathood'. Maximus clearly loves her dearly and WILL NOT LOSE THE BUMBLES!!!!

Your cat prayers are required and much appreciated.

Maximus thanks you.

X

Four Dinners
Aide De Camp
Maximus Spittimus

The End Of The First Year and The Start Of The Second Year Of Maximus Spittimus

2011-01-25T06:14:00.000-08:00

This is the year of me - Maximus Spittimus. Well, last year was the year of me too. Every year is the year of meimuss - and quite right too! After all, I is the Emporer of everythings I surveys and everythings I don't surveys so every year has to be the year of meimuss!!!

Last year was greatimuss cause it was my first year so it must have been the first year the universe existed - I know there was other cats before me but everything must have been a sort of void back then as I wasn't in it.

I is going to post more now I has recovered from Christmas and New Year. I ates so much turkey I couldn't move for most of January and the Two Legs had to carries me everywhere. I deserved the turkey though so that is alrights.

The tree belonged to me but Bumble guarded it for me.

I practised my Ninja skills on Stealthy - lulling him into a false sense of security then bopping him on the headimuss!

Little Two Legs was home with another man Two Legs who made a fuss of me so he can come againimuss. He is called Max so I likes him a lotimuss!!!!

Man Two Legs drank lots of the stuff he drinks but he didn't fall over like everyone else who drank lots of this stuff.

Little Two Legs drank something called 'Daddy's Special Home Made Ukranian Vodka'. I don't know what it is but she said the room was spinning around and hid under Man Two Legs fleece. The room wasn't spinnings!!! I would have known if the room wwas spinnings! I would have got dizzimuss!!! Two Legs can be very strange.....

Lady Two Legs nearly lost the turkey to The Bumbles - good job she isn't as quick as she used to be!

Scampi had his turkey mashed up so he could chew it. I will still have all my teeths when I is 21 years old!!!!

I think this is going to be a very good year - mainly cause I am in it.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

Maximus Spittimus Seagull

2011-01-13T14:18:00.000-08:00

Two Legs has taken lots of pics of me on his new camera - but, being Two Legs, he hasn't worked out how to download them yet.

Lots of new piccies are on the way....hopefully this milleniumimuss.......

Two Legs thinks I is a Seagull.

I tolds you he is nuttymuss!!!

He says I is like the Seagulls in 'Finding Nemo'....Nemo is a fish. If I find him I will eats him!

Two Legs say Seagulls say 'Mine! Mine! Mine!' and he thinks I says that too!!!

If Two Legs pick me up and I don't wants to be picked up I says so! Two Legs says I go 'Mee! Mee! Mee!' and says 'It's all about you Maximus isn't it?'

And?

It should be about somebody else??????

Two Legs is so dumb.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and it is all about me!!!!

I has spokens.

........Mee.....Meee.....Meeeee......Mine.....Mine.....Mine....

I is ginger furry Seagull......;-)

A HAPPY MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS NEW YEAR!!!

2010-12-29T12:39:00.000-08:00

Two Legs has new camera for his birthday so there will be lots of new up to date pics of me.

There will also be lots of new up to date pics of Bumble, Scampi and Stealthy.....but

...more importantly...there will be lots of up to date pics of me. Maximus Spittimus. Emporer of all I survey and any bits that I may have missed through the necessity of sleeping and eating and washing.

I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, wish all of MY CENTURIONS a HAPPY NEW YEAR as you bask in MY Greatness.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

White Stuff Up My Nose!!!...I Is Maximus Trekimus

2010-12-19T12:12:00.000-08:00

It has been snowings. I has been sniffings the snow.

I is stayings in by the warm fire.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I is sensibles!!!!

Happy Christmuss to ALL my valued Centurions!!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------

A note from Four Dinners, Aide de Camp, Maximus Spittimus :

Maximus watched virtually the entire movie of Star Trek whatever it was....3?...4? - the one with the Whales.

He was fascinated by the Whale Song and sat on the arm of the sofa staring at the TV every time the Whale Song was played.

The Stealth Bomber wandered in and sat in the middle of the floor staring at the TV every time the Whale Song was played.

The Bumble appeared...then old Scampi

All four watched Captain Kirk and Mr Spock get it on with the Whales and responded with 'chirrups' every time the Whale Song was heard.

Watching this was quite extraordinary.

Then again....

Maximus Spittimus is quite extraordinary...he told me so.

----------------------------------------------------

A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of the important life forms on our planet. Mainly cats of course but the rest of you are quite important too......

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS

I IS THE ONE!!!!

2010-12-13T11:39:00.000-08:00

Now...let's be serious here. I IS THE ONE. I is Maximus Spittimus. The Emperor of everything.

This is not a matter for debate. This is the way it is - and you are forever grateful for The Emperor Maximus Spittimus endowing life, the universe and everything upon you.

The Bumbles is Bumble...aka The Bumbles...aka Bumbeliney...

I IS THE BOSS.

I IS IN CHARGE.

YOU...MY CENTURIONS....ANSWER TO ME.

I has allowedimuss Stealthy and Bumble to speakimuss on my blog but....BUT....BUT

Pleasimuss to not misunderstandimuss.

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND I IS IN CHARGIMUSS.

Your continued and quite sensible worship of myself is appreciated....imuss....

THE BUMBLES SPEAKS!!!!!

2010-12-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

Now.

Let's get this straight.

I am Bumble.

I am Queen Bee around here.

This house, this universe, this world IS MINE....if I want it...I don't...I am merely ensuring the ONE who should have it gets it.

Maximus Spittimus will rule one day - it is clearly his destiny - but for now.....

I IS BUMBLE.

I IS THE RULER.

Got it?

That is not to say that all of you who admire and rightly adore Maximus should suddenly admire Bumble more.

Maximus Spittimus IS THE EMPORER OF THE UNIVERSE........he just needs me to guide him a bit....er...a lot....

Well...alright...the lights are on and nobody is home but there you go.....is that so different to Obama or Cameron or Putin?......Of course it isn't!!!!

Maximus is young and inexperienced in the ways of the universe....I WILL PROTECT HIM AND TEACH HIM!!

Maximus Spittimus will reach his destiny and anyone who stands in the way of HIS destiny will deal with ME!

I am BUMBLE.....I am The Bumbles.....

I am the Protector and Defender of Maximus Spittimus.

The World will end or the World will accept Maximus Spittimus as it's saviour.....

.....am I supposed to say you dictated this Maximus?

....No?......oh dear......er.....um.....

That was a joke...

I is Junior Two Legs Bestist Baby and I is in charge until I decide Maximus is ready!!!

(I is in charge for a loooooong time).....;-)

I is BUMBLE and YOU don't mess with me....You really don't.

...ps....I is beautiful and gentle really....but I is female.....

The Maximus Spittimus, aka Wriggly Kitty's, Army

2010-12-03T12:35:00.000-08:00

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS. I is Emperor and Lord of ALL I SURVEY - and any bits that I don't survey....just cause I am not surveying them doesn't mean they aren't MINE!

I has 'nickname' according to Two Legs. I is 'Wriggly Kitty'.

Wriggly Kitty????

What is Wriggly Kitty????

"We picks you up and you 'wriggles'" says Two Legs....True...I does....but...BUT!

I is Emperor Maximus Spittimus!!!! I can only be picked upimuss when I wants to be picked upimuss!!!

Wriggly Kitty?......Oh dearimuss.....Two Legs have no idea have they????

Two Legs ARE useful...they feed us and ...er....well....do my bidding...and things...

Take Blackie for instance...He was Blackie and now he's Stealth Bomber...which is, I admit, far more appropriateimuss....

He doesn't answer to 'Blackie' anymore...he only answers to 'Stealthy'...so I supposeimuss his nickname is now his nameimuss.....

Bumble is always Bumble....sometimes she is 'The Bumbles'....either way she just IS.

We is BRIGHT EYES!!!! Bumble (The Bumbles) by my sideimuss and Stealth (Stealthy) Bomber formerly known as Blackie guarding the space that belongs to MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS!!!

The 'wise one' that is Scampi is Scampi - but Two Legs call him 'The Creaking Gate'....Scampi is not a gate!...creaking or otherwiseimuss!!!! Gates are not CATS!!! Two Legs are weird......

Scampi stays on the ground and does not climb anymore....he knows the ground is the sensible place to be...

It is so good that I is THE EMPEROR!!! If I wasn't in chargeimuss nobody would know who anybody elseimuss WAS!!!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND I HAS SPOKENS.

I AM STEALTH BOMBER...Silent and so very very deadly...

2010-11-30T13:20:00.000-08:00

I was a stray cat. I was unwanted and nobody loved me.

Now I am Stealth Bomber. I was Blackie...now I am STEALTH BOMBER.

I is like an exocet missile. I is silent and DEADLY - well I is if you are a mousey or a froggy or a birdy.

I is STEALTH BOMBER and I is guest posting on Maxinus Spittimus.

I loves my Lady Two Legs the best. She feeds me and hugs me and I is HOME.

I is STEALTH BOMBER and Maximus Spittimus has let me spokens.

I is STEALTH BOMBER AND NOBODY IS SAFE!!!....

well....not if you're mousey or froggy or birdie.

When I arrived I was unloved and unwanted...nobody cared about me. Now they do. Now I is STEALTH BOMBER.

I is a Maximus Spittimus Centurion and I will be number one (...er...after The Bumbles obviously...)

The Centurion Army Growsimuss!!!

2010-11-26T12:46:00.000-08:00

I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, The Emporer of The Universe and any other bits that are found in the near future that are not considered bits of The Universe, along with any other bits that nobody wants which may, or may not be, bits of The Universe and not to mention places where no sane cat would ever go - China springs eternallymuss to mind - er...where was I?....oh yes....I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, have been advised by my OFFICIAL ADVISOR, Harry Spotter, that I should thank you for joining my Centurion Army.

I does.
I does.

I...er....what is I doing Harry?

Oh yes!...I is thanking you for joining my Centurion Army!

I would be far more effusive but I is sleepings and, as your Emporer Maximus Spittimus I needs my sleepimuss as I have the whole weight of the worldimuss on my shoulders ensuring that you are all happy in my universe - as I know you are cause it is my universe and is the bestest universe everimuss!!!

I as been joined by Senior Centurion Charley, Centurion's Baxter, Pussimuss and Simba along with Centurionesses Elizabeth and Princess, not to mention Rabbit Centurionesses Rosie and Tulip...Rabbits???? Good griefimuss!!! I is even more magnificent than even I realised!!!!....and I have now been joined by Centurion 'Special Advisor' Harry Spotter....

The revolutionimuss is coming!!!!!

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS WILL RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!!.....and why not? I will do a better jobimuss than the Two Legs...;-)

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I 'as spokens.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Centurions R U Update...

2010-11-25T10:40:00.000-08:00

Please include a link to your blogimuss when you mail you Centurion pics to Maximus as he has graciously agreed to include a link on your pic.....providing the Two Legs - who is technologically inept can manage it.

Thank you.

Four Dinners
Aide de Camp
Maximus Spittimus

Maximus Spittmus Centurions R U

2010-11-24T14:28:00.000-08:00

I is not looking down on my Centurions...honestimuss I isn't...I is just higher up than them!!!

I adore my Centurions and I rules them with lots of lovimuss!!!

The Bumbles is my Head Centurioness...She protects me and stays by my side and nobody....NOBODY...messes with The Bumbles...even me!!!

The Bumbles IS The Bumbles and she is my Greatest Centurioness everimuss

The Bumbles is. She just IS.

The Stealth Bomber just IS as well...He has decimated the wildlife population in the Two Legs garden....

Birds, Frogs, Mice, Rats....The Stealthymuss Bomber doesn't care!!! He brings them all home for The Two Legs.

He never kills them though. They is running and hopping about every morning and Man Two Legs returns them to the gardenimuss...until Stealth Bomber brings them back in again...;-)

Scampi is 20 years oldimuss....Scampi is my DJ now...I lost my DJ so Scampi teaches me...he is old and wise

Two Legs says he will not 'make next summer' but I knows Scampi.....He will always be here even when he isn't.

Scampi will never leave me. Not really. Like DJ he will live forever in the mind of Maximus Spittimus.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I as spokens.

except....

I wants more Centurions for my protection.

I does.

If you would like to join my Centurions and be a part of the life of the one and only Maximus Spittimus then e-mail your pics to fourdinners@aol.com and The Two Legs will post your pics and you will be a part of my Centurion Army for ever and ever and ever.

Then like me...Maximus Spittimus...you will be immortalimuss!!!!

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS has spokens...

ps....Old Kitty and Charlie are Senior Centurions already.... just so you knowimuss...

Maximus Cheekimuss

2010-11-23T06:02:00.000-08:00

I as chubby cheeks says Two Legs.....I is cheekymuss and chubby cheekimuss say man Two Legs.

Man Two Legs says I has such chubby cheeks I looks like ginger Hamster!

Man Two Legs is so dumb!

I stick my tongueimuss outs at him from my blankimuss!

I is not Hamster! I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I as spokens!

2010-11-16T13:35:00.000-08:00

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na...I wanna start a fight!

I sticks out my tongueimuss cause I is Maximus Spittimus and I is not afraidimuss of anyone or anythingimuss!

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na I wants to start a fight!!!!

I is Maximus Spittimus and I is not afraid of anythingimuss...I is Emporer Maximus Spittimus and I will call on my Centurions to beats you all upimuss!!!

...no I won'ts.....I loves you really as you loves me.....

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRR............

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has PURRRRRRRRRED

Maximus Rotundimuss

2010-11-10T11:05:00.000-08:00

The good news :

Lady Two Legs gets up in the morning and feeds me and my gang.

Man Two Legs gets up when Lady Two Legs is in shower and feeds me again.

Lady and Man Two Legs go to work and Little Two Legs, home from Uni, gets up and feeds me.

None of them know they are not the only ones feeding me.

This is good. I likes my food.

The bad news :

The Two Legs have realised and I is only fed once in the morning now!!!

Once?????

Man Two Legs say I is getting fatimuss!!! I is not fatimuss!!!! I is pleasantly rotundimuss!!!

I likes my food!

No fair!!!!

I is hungry MAXIMUS (Pleasantly Rotundimuss) SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

MAXIMUS BANGIMUSS!!!!

2010-11-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

There is loud bangs going on....are we at warimuss???

Two Legs say it is Bonfire Night so bangimuss is normal!!

Bangimuss is normal???...Two Legs are daftimuss!!!

Bangimuss is not normal...bangimuss is loudimus!!!

Stealthy and Scampi don't even notice...The Bumbles is outsideimuss IN THIS NOISIMUSS??? She is mad as a hatterimuss!!!

Two Legs say 'it is only Fireworks Maximus'...ONLY???? They is BANGIMUSS!!! and I no likeimuss!!!!

Bumbles is outside and doesn't care! Stealthy and Scampi are obliviousimuss???

I is frightenedimuss!!! LOUD BANGIMUSS...

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is hiding under blankyimuss for the night!!!

I, The One And Only Maximus Spittimus, Is One.

2010-10-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

I is one.

I is the only one and I is one.

The Universe has officially existed for one year.

I hopes you is all suitably grateful.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I is ONE!

Before There Was Maximus

2010-10-21T11:23:00.000-07:00

Before????? Before meimuss???? There was a before MEEEE?????

I am shockedimuss to the core of my whiskers. I am. I am.

DJ told me there was a before me time. I always believed DJ but thought he was jokimussing me!

Now I has seen proofimuss I is shockedimuss. I is also proudimuss that I can continue the line of great cats and say that they are greatimuss, but I is bestimuss.

Two Legs says he will scan piccies of older cats long gone for me to see. Some, he says are lost forever when his computer crashed and he hadn't put them on a disk...uh? What is he on about?

He says piccies Hissing Sid and Tiddler and Tara and Mouse.....Mouse??? There was a cat called Mouse???....are lost. He better not lose my pics. I is Maximus Spittimus and my pics are sacred!!!

This is 'Holly'. She was a Christmas kitten. She was rescued from kids kicking her around in the street and her brainimuss was damaged. Two Legs say she was always 6 months old in her head - the Vetimuss said so - but she was Man Two Legs baby and he snuggled her and she was a happy kitty. I wish I had met her...

This is L to R, Hissing Sid, Tiddler, my DJ and my Scampi. Hissing Sid and Tiddler went to Great Cat before I was here - I am still shockedimuss that there was a 'before I was here'. Hissing Sid 'hissed' at all Two Legs except man Two Legs - even Lady Two Legs and Little Two Legs was hissed at. I think I would have liked Hissing Sid. Tiddler was always wild DJ had told me. Nobody could touch her - except once when she was poorly and she sat on Lady Two Legs lap. Apart from that one time she would scratch and bite any Two Legs who tried to touch her - I missed so much fun before I was here!!!

My DJ is gone now but my Scampi is still here. He is 20 years old now. He will be as old as DJ was next year.

This is Princess Puffball. DJ said she was found wandering the streets and was blind and deaf. Two Legs found she could hear if the sound was high pitched enough. The Two Legs took her in and she spent many happy years walking into things and getting cuddledimuss.

I am shockedimuss that there was 'before me' but I likes the before me cats. They is coolimuss.

Now don't lose my picciemusses Two Legs!!!!!!

The Two Legs first ever cats 27 years ago....27???????....were Duke and Duchess. DJ was named after the first ever cat - Duke. Lady Two Legs called him that after a Two Legs called John Wayne, who she liked said DJ. The Duke was Boss Cat. I will be Boss Cat one day and think of Duke. I will always think of my DJ.

Goodnight DJ. You will be happy with Great Cat. I know this because.........

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

The Stealth Bomber

2010-10-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

Man Two Legs is not calling Blackie 'Blackie' anymore. He is calling him 'Stealth Bomber' - and Blackie is even answering when Man Two Legs says 'Here Stealthy'.

This is because Blac...I mean Stealthy keeps catching things more than any other cat has.

Mices and frogs and birds and more mices and more birds - not frogs now as it is too cold for any frogs to be out. Either that or he has catchimuused them all!!!

Last night the Lady Two Legs screamed when she moved our biscuit bowl. There was a little mousimuss hiding under it.

Mind you, she screamed louder when Bla...er..Stealthy brought a frog onto the bed in the summer!!!

Man Two Legs has scattered DJ's ashes over the rockery where he used to sleeps in the sunshine.

I, MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS, thanks you for your nice purrs when DJ went.

I has spokens.

Goneimuss

2010-10-08T13:53:00.000-07:00

I as lost DJ.

He has gone to Great Cat and I is sadimuss.

He walked into the living room, gave a sigh and lay down.

Then he diedimuss. He went away.

The Two Legs say they is gladimuss that they didn't have to go to Vet.

DJ was so oldimuss. He was a FIGHTER. He lived to 21 cause he was a FIGHTER.

Two Legs says his heart just gave out.........

He didn't suffer you know. He just lay down and sighed and .........went.

DJ is with Great Cat.

I is sad but I is not sad cause DJ just 'went'.

I is missings him already.

Two Legs cried and then wrapped him in blanky - not MY blanky!!! - and now he goes to be made into ashes.

Goodnight DJ.

I loves you and will never forget you.

MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS xxxx

ps...I would have puts up pics but Blogger is a piece of shite and wouldn't lets me.

Hellooooo Blogger! You is a complete piece of shitimuss. So there.

My DJ has goneimuss and I can't post piccies of him cause Blogger is shiteimuss.

I will post piccies of DJ when Blogger is not shiteimuss.......perhaps in ten yearsimuss?

...what a pile of shitimuss Blogger is eh?

Me And My Gangimuss

2010-09-14T14:49:00.000-07:00

The Bumble is sleepings on the micro wave. I hopes she doesn't sleeps in the micro wave. She be very hot Bumbles then!

The Blackie goes sleeps on my blanky! MY BLANKY!!!!!! Good jobs he is my friend or I hiss and spittimus!!

As my blankimuss is not available (Disgraceful behaviour!!!) I go sleeps on little Two Legs bedimuss. The Bumble joins me - obviously reading my minds about sleepings in micro wave...it's safer here Bumbles!!!

Meanwhiles the old boys stand guardimuss....

DJ The Blindimuss is nearly 21 years old. That is as old as little Two Legs!!!! He is ancients!!!! I giudes him around the house. If I don't he bumps into things....

Scampi is nearly 19 years old. 'A mere strippling compared to DJ' says man Two Legs. A what? Man Two Legs talks weird. He daft as a brush (as he says)....;-)

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND I HAS SPOKENS

Backimuss

2010-09-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

Maximus Update -

DJ is safe and backimuss and I is guidings him again.

Two Legs says he is not long for this world so I will makes sure he enjoys.

Love,

The Legend that is Maximus Spittimus

I Is Maximus And That Is Alls You Needs

2010-09-03T15:17:00.000-07:00

DJ is missingimuss..he is blinds and has gone away...I is worried about DJ..I will guide him if he comes backs.....Two Legs says he is the only cats they have hads who might go aways to dies...

Man Two Legs is searchings.....I loves you DJ so please comes backimuss....

I was little.

Then I was bigs.

Then I was Bigimuss.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I IS.

For those unsure of what Maximus Spittimus means...it means I IS thereforeimuss YOU ARE.

Is it really so difficultimuss?

Maximus Spittimus loves you all...very muchimuss cause you worships me so you is sensible(imuss)

Loves Maximus Spittimus

I adore you as you clearly adore me...you is sensibleimuss...

I is MAXIMUSS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens

and I wants DJ backimuss....Two Legs is searchings....

I Is Chewings

2010-08-26T06:40:00.000-07:00

I is chewings somethings. I has no idea what I is chewings but I likes chewings.

I is chewings something from lady Two Legs car. She had to take it out to fit in all the stuffs little Two Legs is takings to her other house for Uni.

Lady Two Legs took young Two Legs away to her other house. It is rented for Uni they say. What is a Uni? Is it a cat? I hopes it isn't a dog as I loves little Two Legs and I is angry if she is having anything to do with dogs.

I doesn't not like dogs - they has Four Legs like me and is furry like me so is more sensible than Two Legs but they is dumb and makes funny noises.

Blackie watched me chewings but didn't want to chew. Blackie has brighty eyes

The Bumbles turned a blind eye to my chewings......turned a blind eye? I is jokey Maximus now! The Bumbles only has one eye. It was joke. YOU WILL LAUGH AT MY JOKEIMUSSES!!!

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens and jokens too!!!

I is handsomest and cleverist Maximus and I loves you being here with me........I will share a purr x

DJ Is Sniffings

2010-08-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

DJ is very oldimuss. He has just gone blindimuss. He is ok. Two Legs say "it must have been a steady process as he seems to have adapted".....I as no idea what that all means but DJ is ok.

I brings him flowers to sniffs as Two Legs says he needs lots of attention - as long as it isn't more than I gets!

DJ walk into flowers on floor as they weren't there when he could see. He sniffings them then he sneezes.

He is 20 years old is DJ. That is not old that is older than oldest.

I loves DJ. I be Guide Cat for him so he can go sniffings in garden still.

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

I Is Backimuss!!!

2010-08-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

This Is ME. Maximus Spittimus The Great. The ONLY Maximus Spittimus ever. I is Backimuss!!!

Two Legs says he is busymuss but I bit his toes when they dangles out of bedimuss and he relents and lets me posts again!!!

I is big handsomest boy in the whole worlds and everyone know this.

I has had chops says Two Legs. Chops? I has had bacons and steak bits and all sorts that Two Legs has fed me but I has not had chops?

Two Legs says I has had THE chop. The chop? This is the BIG chop? The GOD of chops? I woulds know if I has eaten the God of chops. Two Legs is nuts.

Speakings of nuts....where...?

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens...

I Is Gettings Mad!

2010-08-11T12:24:00.000-07:00

Two Legs is too busy! Two Legs is too busy!

Too busy???? Too busy for Maximus's postings?????

Two Legs will suffer! I knows how to get his toesies under the quiltimuss!!!!

I will be backimuss soonimuss!!!!

I promises.

I IS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS AND I IS SPEAKINGS AGAIN

The Maximus Monthly Meow : I Is Cheeky

2010-05-27T13:50:00.000-07:00

Two Legs say 'Isn't he getting chubby cheeks?'....I is. I is even more magnificent with chubby cheeks.

Two Legs also say 'He is going for the chop soon.'.......What is 'chop'? I as eaten a bit of chop before. It taste good. How is I 'going for the chop'? I don't knowsimuss....

I Is getting too bigs for my blanky but I will always love my blanky and lie on it - even if I hangs over the edge.

Does any one know what Two Legs means by 'going for the chop'? I is confused.

I want to post more often but Lady Two Legs has no idea, Young Two Legs is not here much no more and Man Two Legs keeps whizzing off (as he calls it....whizzing? What is whizzing?) in funny box on wheely things that makes horrible noise and frightens me.

Whatever he does in funny wheely box must be fun though as he always is laughing about other Two Legs he lets in it.

Two Legs can be very weird sometimes.

....What is 'chop'?

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I 'as finally spokens again

The Maximus Monthly Meow

2010-05-01T07:17:00.000-07:00

Two Legs says he has only time for one post a month on my blog.

This is disgracefulmus.

He has bribed me with special treats so that's alright then.

I will sneak in and do my own posts I thinks.

Right. How do you do this posty thing?

Oh....Maybe laters....I is going back in garden in sun and watching fat pigeon that lives in tree.....

Pigeon is bigger than I was when I was littlemus....

Once I was littlemus.....

Now is bigimus.....

I as always been Maximus......

I Is And Bumble Is

2010-04-16T13:46:00.000-07:00

I is wanting to post but Two Legs is very very busy doing what he calls the 'W' word. He tries to say it but it comes out worrrrrrrr.....worrrrrr......worrrrrrrrrrrrr.....work.

I don't think he likes this 'work' thing.

I as best life. I goes where I wants when I wants and I sits on funny machine thingy on the wall to eats.

Then I goes sleeps with Bumble on the bed.

Life is good.

I just wishes Two Legs would let me blog more! I should be more importants than worrrrrrrrr......

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I as spokens.

Stray Cat Strut

2010-04-09T15:31:00.000-07:00

Two Legs says this is my song.....I isn't stray cat! I is cat with home! My home! I lets Two Legs stay 'cause they feeds me and stuff! He think I is stray???? Two Legs is loony!!!!

Just 'cause I climbs trees and chases birdies he thinks I is acting like stray?

I see's my first butterfly today and I is so shocked I falls off plantpot. Is that what stray does? No!

Two Legs is good to me. He cuddles me and feeds me but he say I is like stray?

I might have to scratch him when he sleeps for saying such a thing!

I do likes song though.....and I suppose I do strut a bit....and why not?

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS. I is strutting cat. I has spokens.....

More Growed Up Maximus

2010-04-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

This was me then -

This is me now -

I is BIGGIMUS boy.

I is BIGGIMUS MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens.

Maximus Is Backimus

2010-04-01T13:11:00.000-07:00

I claim the stairs as the official territory of Maximus Spittimus. Besides, I can trip up Two Legs as they go up and down. This is good fun. Especially last week when man Two Legs couldn't even step over me 'cause his bottom hurt. hehehehe

Just so's you know as I have had to be absent 'cause of Two Legs Botty - very inconsiderate of him I might adds...does he not know I am the only reason his entire universe exists??? - Blacky is now coming into house and eatings.

The Bumbles still thinks she is in charge and lords it over us on top of the microwave....and no, I hasn't a clue what a microwave is - although man Two Legs said 'If you jump on my bottom again I will microwave you!'...What he means?

DJ of the shiny eyes - have you seen his eyes always shine in piccies? He must be possessed! - has been napping in man Two Legs chair 'cause man Two Legs couldn't sit down.

Scampi always sits on backs of chairs. I like Scampi lots but he is weird cat.....

'Cause man Two Legs gets hot easy lady Two Legs turns heating down 'til he is better but gets colds so puts dressing gown on her lap....now it is my dressing gown and my lap....as is only right and proper.

Man Two Legs say he take me to see you tomorrow to see what you are doings.

I 'as missed you.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spokens.

Two Legs Bottom.

2010-03-29T03:51:00.001-07:00

Due to the current unfortunate circumstances surrounding Two Legs Bottom....see here....the next Maximus Spittimus post has been very delayed. He will return shortly.

Best Regards,

Four Dinners
Aide de Camp
Maximus Spittimus

The Adventures Of Maximus Spittimus Part II

2010-03-21T12:27:00.000-07:00

Two Legs is very busy doing whatever it is Two Legs do.

I is sorry I hasn't been to visit you but until Two Legs isn't busy I can't 'cause I don't know hows....

I thinks, 'let's go in gardens', so I does.

Two Legs say "Waits for me Maximus!"...Why I wait for him?

I goes and he must chases me!

This is me in wilds!

This is more me in wilds!

This is me sniffing wilds!

This is me hidings in wilds!

This is me up a tree!

I like wilds!

I come visit you soon as Two Legs is not too busy doing what ever it is is Two Legs is doings.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spokens.

The Adventures Of Maximus Spittimus

2010-03-13T12:43:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to find any current pics of the garden, so I'll settle for this Christmas shot of the Cat Palace. Notice all the trees around. We've lots of trees in our garden

Maximus has been allowed out under supervision and has behaved himself admirably....until today.

Today he went and sat on the covered box used by Blacky for a few minutes and then, without warning, Bumble shot past him and straight up a tree.

Before I could move he slinked to the tree and went up, and up, and up, and up.

All I could see was this tiny bit of ginger occasionally doing a passable impression of a Sloth, hanging upside down Sloth like for minutes on end. He then swung himself onto the branch and lay there, seemingly precariously looking down on me.

"Maxi! Come down here this minute!"

"Meow?"

This went on for mearly two hours, with Maximus occasionally completely vanishing into the depths of the tree.

He finally came down the trunk headfirst and hurtled into the house.

"Maximus! Do you promise never to do that again!"

I wonder whether "Meow" meant "Yes" or "No"?

He is now far too tired to post, so I've done it for him.

Daft as a brush is that cat!

Maximus will be back posting shortly - quite possibly from on high!

Four Dinners
Aide de Camp
Maximus Spittimus

Blacky

2010-03-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

I has new friend. He is wild Tom. Two Legs feed him and now he lets them stroke him. He led me into wild outdoors when man Two Legs ran down garden in his boxer shorts. I like Blacky and he like me.

Two Legs say he has to have operation on his 'things' so he can come in house. What things?

Blacky come in house when Two Legs not here. One time man Two Legs come in through door and Blacky run for cat hole in back door. Thing is, man Two Legs has it on in only to stop me going into wild outside until I is ready.

Blacky headbutted cat hole and bounced off. It was very funnies.

Two Legs say "It's ok Blacky" but Blacky think 'it not ok!' and take big run and smashes through locked cat hole in back door.

Blacky very strong and tough. He my friend. I hope he still my friend when he has things done to his things...whatever that means...

I is MAXIMUS SPITTIMUS and I has spokens...

I Is Bigger Than Blanky!

2010-03-07T11:01:00.000-08:00

I is getting bigger than my blanky I is.

I loves my blanky and will always have my blanky.

And I has found good way of seeing great outdoors without going in great outdoors.

The Bumble showed me in the Little Two Legs bedroom.

I can watch birdies and stuff and not be frightens.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I has spokens.

In The Jungle The Mighty Jungle....

2010-03-03T12:20:00.000-08:00

I is outsides. I have been there before and it is frightenings. Two Legs was with me so I not too frightens this time.

I thinks..."Should I goes?"

Then I goes...but I hides in shed

Then I looks at weeds in pots. Two Legs say he will tidy up garden but I likes it like this..

I finds big box that smell of wild Tom! I thinks Blacky sleeps here!

Then I slinks in jungle. I is LION!!!

I is Maximus Spittimus and I has spokens from great outdoors!

I Is In The Gang!

2010-02-25T14:19:00.000-08:00

The Bumbles has been teachings me things. The Scampi and The DJ just looked at me as if I is an alien.

Now they is letting me in their gang. I can symmetrically sleeps with them and they don't minds.

This is The Scampi and The DJ's letting me sleeps on the Two Legs bed with them.

I is so pleased The Scampi and The DJ likes me now. They os old and tough Tom Cats and I thoughts they would never likes me.

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I 'as spokens.

I Is Lappy Kitty

2010-02-22T06:18:00.000-08:00

I sits on Lady Two Legs lappy

She says "Maximus I need to pee"

She no pee until she tickles my chin

For a long times!!!

I is Maximus Spittimus

I 'as spokens.

My Favourite Thing

2010-02-19T04:24:00.000-08:00

I 'as favourite thing.

Two Legs no understand.

They gets me lots of toys and squeaky things but I 'as favourite thing.

I carries it and I hides it and I plays with it.

I no need squeaky things.

I 'as favourite thing

I is Maximus Spittimus

I 'as spokens

DJ Sez....

2010-02-16T10:33:00.000-08:00

DJ sez "You stay in sinks Maximus and chase water. Outsides is dangerous and you are not ready for dangerous yet"

He stands in front of cat hole to stops me.

DJ is big tough Tom.

I think I listens to DJ...

...and chase waters insteads....

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spokens

I Guardimuss (with The Bumbles)

2010-02-12T11:17:00.000-08:00

I is not in cat house for breakings vase anymores. Man Two Legs hugs me and carry's me into Lady Two Legs and she says "Awws" and cuddles me - which is the least I deserves....

I then help The Bumble to guard the Church money that Lady Two Legs sorts out.

We is only pretendings to be asleep.

We is really alert.

er...What is a lert?

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spoken

2010-02-10T12:32:00.000-08:00

This happened. It wasn't me fault. All I was doings was sniffings it. It fell. I fell. I was wets.

Lady Two Legs shouted at me. Shouted at me? I runs.

Man Two legs hugs me and says "What you done now Maximus?"

I done nothings. Funny thing with flowers done it. I was just sniffings.

Man Two Legs makes food for little Two Legs who comes homes. I wants some. It is fishy thing and pasta.

I not know pasta but I know fishy thing.

Man Two Legs give me fishy thing - ohhhhhh!!! that is my tongue on my noses!!!!

Lady Two Legs angry.

She cuddles me laters.

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I 'as spoken.

Great Outdoors

2010-02-07T06:32:00.000-08:00

Two Legs wakes me ups.

"You can go outside now" he says.

Two legs is nuts.

Outside is colds and dangerous inside is warms and safe.

Two Legs is very nuts.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spokenzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Where Is Door Hole?

2010-02-05T12:28:00.000-08:00

Two Legs show me what he calls 'great outdoors'. Two Legs say "Go on then"

I thinks "Go on then" means I go into great outdoors.

I has been there and I is not sure I likes.

I chased Blacky - a new stray that Two Legs is feeding - and he vanishes over big woody thing. I can't follow. I is alone and frightened.

I followed The Bumbles out of hole in door but she vanishes over big woody thing and I is alone.

I no likes alone.

I sits and looks.

Two Legs tell other Two Legs I sits and looks for ages.

Then a big flappy thing swoops out of sky.

Two Legs say it is Pigeon.

What is Pigeon?

It makes whooshy noise and I is frightened.

I run back into Two Legs house.

I is safe there and I can do what I want.

Great outdoors is very very big!!!

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spoken

A Message From The Two Legs

2010-02-03T11:53:00.000-08:00

I would like to point out that Maximus Spittimus will be allowed out eventually.

Unfortunately he is a sandwich short of a picnic / a match short of a box / a cow short of a herd / a sheep short of a Yorkshireman / Tuppence short of a shilling.....in short...the light's are on and nobody is home.

He is, frankly, one of the most handsome, loveable, amazing cats we've ever had.

We'd like him to stay that way too.

He was born wild. Feral. At least 3rd generation feral...perhaps more than 3rd...

It's quite possible his brother was his father...or at least his uncle... (that being said he doesn't 'meow' in an American deep south accent)...;-)

He has the courage of Maximus (Russell Crowe in Gladiator) - Hence the name.

He spits at anyone and anything that is unknown to him. Hence the name.

Running away is not an option.

He is also 'daft as a brush' - and no, I have no idea what that means but the late (former England Manager) great, Sir Bobby Robson said that about Paul Gascoigne - possibly the greatest footballer England has ever produced - so if it's it's good enough for Sir Bobby it's good enough for Maximus....

He is, in short, unbelievably thick.

Carol, Jacqui and I promise to love and protect him from here on in.

I've a worrying feeling however that we won't be able to protect him from himself.

His 'outdoor' adventures may be something to behold.

Anyroad...we'll do our best by him as we must.

My vodka consumption will undoubtedly increase.

Oh dear......;-)

This coming weekend will be his first time...officially...outdoors.....

...oh eck...

Incidentally...try this link. Maximus Spittimus has transmogriphied into a real person!!!

Maximus Eatimuss

2010-02-02T11:06:00.000-08:00

Hole in door is locked!!!! Bumble, DJ and Scampi now have to look at Two Legs and he opens door. They can come in through hole in door but not out.

This is cheats!!!!

I eats 'cause I is hungry but I sulks. I may hairball on Two Legs head when he sleepimuss!

I is allowed to eat with The Bumbles 'cause she teach me stuff.

It is good job CJ went to Great Cat. When Two Legs lock hole CJ rip it out of door to get out. He was strong cat. I miss CJ.

Still, I got The Bumbles to teach me.

I hungries now.

I is Maximus Spittimus

I 'as spoken

Spinny Thing

2010-01-31T07:14:00.000-08:00

This is hole. Is it hole in door?

No! This is bigger hole.

Arrrrgh!!! It is hole into spinny thing

Let me out's of here

I no like spinny thing

I is Maximus Spittimus

I 'as spoken

Maximus Spittimus Is Innocentimuss

2010-01-26T13:48:00.000-08:00

Two Legs say I is banned from posting 'cause I goes out of cat flap.

No I doesn't....er....possiblies...

I is on my blanky with my favourite thing.

Two Legs is daftimuss.

I is sitting in sink not runnings about outsides. This is proofimuss!!!

Two Legs did look sillymuss in his underwear chasing down the garden after me though...er

...even if I wasn't there....

I was chasing wet stuff!!!!

Maximus Spittimus IS innocent!!!

I 'as spoken.....

WTF is WTF in Cat?

2010-01-22T14:50:00.000-08:00

Looks.

I sees DJ and Scampi goes through hole in door.

I goes through hole in door.

There is problem?

I is cat. I is only reason for universe (whatever that is) existing.

All I wants is to go through hole in door.

I 'as spoken.

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I is dread....

I Sinks I Climbs I Blurs

2010-01-20T13:25:00.000-08:00

I is in the sink chasing wet stuff. Two Legs says wet stuff is for drinking not chasing and puts some in a bowl for me. Chasings is more fun!!!

I is climbing wall. I has found I can digs my claws into woody things and climbs a long way! Two Legs lifted me in air and I was worried so I stuck claws in woody things on ceiling and he let me dangle!!!! He did catches me though when I falls.

Two Legs says "Keep still for your close up" so I moves so I can had blurry head. I think blurry head is more fun.

Two Legs says I looks like a ginger Gizmo the Gremlin.

I has no idea what he is sayin'

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I has spoken

Lots Of Muss

2010-01-15T12:24:00.000-08:00

I is sleepimuss on my blankimuss

Bumble is yawnimuss (coz I chases her and she is tired)

DJ is let me out of hereimuss - he no like clicky light that Two Legs uses.

And Scampi look pissed offimuss - he no like clicky light either.

This is my home and my friends.

I is Maximus Spittimus and I 'as spoken

I Is Brainimuss

2010-01-12T15:02:00.000-08:00

Two legs sez this is my brainimuss

The Bumbles says I am daftimuss

I thinks I will believe The Bumbles.....

I is Maximus Spittimus

I 'as spoken

I Washes. I is good Kitty.

2010-01-10T11:09:00.000-08:00

This is Scampi...he is wild cat. Now CJ gone Scampi is my friend. He was my friend anyway but now he is more my friend.

He teaches me. My Scampi is cool cat!!!

I washes myself now. CJ, Scampi and The Bumbles taught me to....

I is Maximus Spittimus.

You loves me 'cause I am.

I 'as spoken.

Maximus Guardimuss

2010-01-07T13:04:00.000-08:00

I is guarding baggies. In baggies is Two Legs money from thing called churchimuss.

I guards. You no touch churchimuss moneymuss or I hisses.

I has no idea what I is guardimuss. It is plastic thing that Two Legs use for wetty plates and wetty bowls that has my food in. I guard cause I do.

I is Maximus Spittimus

...and I 'as spoken

I Is Wettimus

2010-01-05T07:42:00.000-08:00

I is Biteimuss.

I bites blanky but then I is thirsty.

I put head to water thing and it squirts onto my head. I is wet head!

The Bumbles shows me how to do it.

Why can't I catch wet stuff when it drips out of shiny thing?

Wet stuff tastes nice but is weird...

I Is Maximus Spittimus

I has spoken...

I Eats

2010-01-01T14:40:00.000-08:00

I eats

I drinks

I sleeps

There is more?

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I 'as eaten, drank and now I sleeps...

ps...I wouldn't mind but we buy him TOP quality food and the little sod eats Tesco's finest bound for the Cat Palace!!!!!.....Incorrigible. That's what he is.....4D

Maximus Spittimus Chrissimus

2009-12-29T14:47:00.000-08:00

What is Chrissimus? I not know. Two legs eat a lot of food - and, more importantly - give me turkey and ham and yummy things.

Two legs give me toys to play with. I likes Chrissimus.

Two legs say "Get off table I want to lay it"

What is 'lay a table?' I gets off 'cause I has new toys..

Funny green thing is in my house. It has sparkly things on it. I climb funny green thing and Two Legs say "Get off the bloody tree!".

What is 'bloody tree?'

I not know but I like Chrisimus. I eats lots of turkey and ham and sausages....

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I is going to have Happy New Year 'cause Two Legs say so and he gives me turkey!!!!

The Great Cat

2009-12-22T15:08:00.000-08:00

I know....you is all thinking I is Great Cat. Well...I is but not THAT Great Cat.

Great Cat is where we goes when we is not running things here no more....

I is watching big box with two legs on it. It takes my mind off.....stuff

My bestest friend, CJ the manky old Tom has gone to Great Cat.

I miss him. I is sad.

Two legs were sad. Man two legs take him to thing called vet and thing called vet say "He had enough. He wild cat. He sicky cat. He had good life and live more cause he with you than is he live wild"

I not really know what all that mean. It just mean my CJ is with Great Cat.

Bye bye CJ.

I is missing you.

Now....what's for dinner?.....

I Is Dread

2009-12-15T14:54:00.000-08:00

I is on my head...

I Is Maximus Spittimus.

I 'as spoken

Simples

2009-12-14T11:58:00.000-08:00

I is awake....

I is sleepings - so is Bumble

Simples....

I is Maximus Spittimus

I is sleepings.

All Growed Up

2009-12-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

I is all growed up now.

I eats on floor with big cats. I sit next to Scampi.

CJ is scruffy old tom cat. He is my bestest friend.

DJ still looks at me like I is alien thing.

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I is all growed up.

I as spoken.

I Is It

2009-12-06T17:39:00.000-08:00

There is a world. There is a Universe. There is life. There is joy. There is me.

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I as spoken.

My Posty For You To Honour

2009-12-03T06:19:00.000-08:00

I is learning to read. I has a hero. He is called Catbert.

This made man Two Legs laugh. I dunno why? Two legs is weird.

This is Scampi. He is feral. Only man and lady Two Legs can touch him. I no want to. He nuts cat. Lights are on but nobody is home.

I is Maximus Spittimus. I has spoken.

My World Is Good....That Is All That Matters

2009-11-30T12:54:00.000-08:00

I is good kitty. I is growin' and eatin'

Bumbley is well again so I is boss again.

I is scratching things Two Legs sit in. They clap their paws and say "Don't do that"

I always listen.....not....;-)

Man Two Legs take me in his metal box. I play with funny round thing. We bounce off kerb. It is good fun!!!!

I is Maximus Spittimus.

I has spoken.

My Bumble is sicky sicky

2009-11-23T18:16:00.000-08:00

I is boss. This is my house. I rule.

Bumbely thinks she rule.

I rule.

Bumbely sicky sicky.

She can rule if it mean no more sicky sicky.

I like Bumble.

You no tell her that.

I am Maximus Spittimus.

I have spoken.

I Am Bestest Cat 'Cause I Not Dumb, Or Wet, Or Fat

2009-11-19T11:23:00.000-08:00

This is dumb cat....

This is wet cat....

This is fat cat....

This is what Two Legs says is pussy...which I think means cat?

This is clever sleepy cat. This is me. Lady Two Legs want to sort her paperwork. She sort when I have sleep. Not before.

This is my house. It revolves around me. Two Legs who let me sit in his lap say so.

I am Maximus Spittimus.

I have spoken.